What I Fear the Most Lyrics

Thanatophobia

Thanos snap and it's over

I can't bank like Wachovia

On a God to watch over me

The reality is quite sobering

A malady I fight over again

My life's a ballad, slow moving

No grand finale, no music

Just face to face with death

Feel so cold I see his breath

Fogging up the sickle blade

Had enough of this sicko's games

It's bad enough these fickle days

Wither with age, then trickle and fade

Can't man up these whimsical ways

Can't stand up to this grim little phase

It's so weird too man, because I used to get so depressed

Feelings so suppressed, I'd welcome death

Like it's a guest, and not some pest

And I confess I never really tried my best

Even though I'm blessed with the gift of text

Why should I flex, if death is next

What have I learned from the mess I left

What if I burn for the mess I left

Leaving my kids to detest what's left

A picture a memory, reflect on that

Kids won't remember me, I'm scared of that

Daughter walking down the aisle, but it ain't with dad

My son lost his smile, his face is sad

I can't even promise I'll ever see them again

Seems redundant for me to pray that heaven is real

When from under me the rug was pulled I fell to a kneel

I leaned on drinking and drugging, so life was ideal

Death is what I fear the most, you'll never know how I feel

Seems redundant for me to pray that hell don't exist

When I'm just one sin away from burning deep in the pits

Done overthinking my existence, like a wrist with new slits

Death is what I fear the most, and it's for reasons like this

Tick-tock, tick-tock, that's your life clock

Counting backwards down to one cause that's how life works

It's too easy being a species who can freely move discreetly

Kidnap Saoirse Ronan's lovely bones and keep them same like Stanley Tucci

We all live life on the run, is it toward something or from

Some see the light, some see none

Doesn't seem right, something seems wrong

So fuck it I can't lie, yea at the risk of sounding ignorant

Yo, I still love the drugs except they turn me to an idiot

And I don't refer to drugs when I'm speaking about weed and shit

I'm talking smack and pills, my body says we need that shit

But I been off them now over nine years, I feel I beat that shit

And yea, I lean on weed and mental meds, but there's a need for it

I used to feel so caged up acting like I should be freed from it

So I'd explode with rage and black out drunk all high on D and shit

Without meds, I'm a manic mess, a monster who's been freed and sent

To slowly kill myself, it's just like me to make a demon friend

Seems redundant for me to pray that heaven is real

When from under me the rug was pulled I fell to a kneel

I leaned on drinking and drugging, so life was ideal

Death is what I fear the most, you'll never know how I feel

Seems redundant for me to pray that hell don't exist

When I'm just one sin away from burning deep in the pits

Done overthinking my existence, like a wrist with new slits

Death is what I fear the most, and it's for reasons like this

Feels like no lives matter, and this life is fucking pointless

You're born, you cry, you live, you die and don't know what the point is

We don't have a single clue what goes on in the afterlife

Or even if there's any form of life that comes after life

Fingers crossed, I won't go to hell for being a bastard, like

It's not my fault, mom and dad weren't married, right

If there really is a god who's witnessing all our craziness

Let's speed this shit up, and get to the Revelations then

Sky ruptures with rapture, the chosen arose are captured

Oceans explode, and disasters occurring globally, mass graves

Filling holes on our pathway, our earth explodes on our last day

Will my soul make way to heaven, or burn away like an ashtray

Death is creeping, attempting, I'm screaming you'll never get me

To say you're not going to get me is naive because inevitably

Death comes for us all, I just say it and get sweaty

I just drank a fifth of vodka, well fuck it I'm ready

Seems redundant for me to pray that heaven is real

When from under me the rug was pulled I fell to a kneel

I leaned on drinking and drugging, so life was ideal

Death is what I fear the most, you'll never know how I feel

Seems redundant for me to pray that hell don't exist

When I'm just one sin away from burning deep in the pits

Done overthinking my existence, like a wrist with new slits

Death is what I fear the most, and it's for reasons like this