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  • Genre:Acoustic
  • Year of Release:2013

Lyrics

What does it take

To decide to run

For vice president

Of middle school?

Do you have to think

You're not good enough

Or maybe think the guy

Who's running for president

Is cool?


Or cute

Painfully so

Looking at the back of his neck

In Spanish class

At his mole

Memorizing it

Wanting to touch it

That smooth, brown skin

Hearing rumours

About him


Girls giving him blow jobs

In bathrooms at parties

And not being able to get that image

That thought

Out of your head

Endless replay

Night and day


When I was vice president

There was a drug bust

At the local high school

Parents were all up in arms

And the newspapers too


And girls are on their knees

In bathrooms

Fumbling with his

Zipper

Pulling back his white

Tight underwear


The parents started setting their sights

On the younger kids

Trying to catch them

Before they went to hell

If all this shit

Was going on in high school

It must be starting

Somewhere else


The president's penis

All hard and ready

And waiting

The Parent Teacher Association

Was going to have an emergency meeting

To set a strategy

To just say no

I wanted to go


I'm looking up at him

From below

Looking at his

Lustful, dark, dreamy, brown eyes

Looking down at me

Begging me to start


I started a petition

Which was a bit of a repetition

The last one I started

Was something about

Being anti-crime

Making a pledge to intervene

Or something

Who knows?


He's waiting for me

To lick it

Stop it, stop it, stop it

I have a girlfriend

Stop it!


The anti-crime petition

Got lots of signatures

It was a minor success

More successful, I thought

Than when I took lung samples

Around to science classes


Eaten up by tobacco smoke

Blackened by tar

Prone to cancer

And emphysema


Does he even notice me?

What if he noticed me?

What if somehow I ended up

In the bathroom at a party with him?


Then I started smoking clove cigarettes

Not kidding myself

They were anything other

Than flavoured tobacco


What if he locked the door

And locked eyes with me

And

Shit, shit, shit, stop it


But the flavour

Of the clove cigarettes was tasty

And when you laid down

And huffed them in

And then sprang up again

You got mighty light headed


Your brain crackled

Like cloves seeds

It was fun to do with friends

You didn't have to say anything

Just smoke and laugh

And repeat and repeat and repeat


Precum, precum

Shit, shit

Girls' breasts

Vaginas

And precum

Precum


There were reporters at the PTA meeting

Where I presented my petition

Saying that the signatories

Almost every student in the student body

Hadn't and knew no one who had

Bought, sold or used drugs at school


How can I get alone with him?

Why don't we have

More student council meetings?

Why didn't he come to the PTA meeting?

I'm just the vice president


He's probably got a soccer game or something

His legs

Polyester, shiny shorts

Fuck!


I was careful with the wording

So I could sign the petition

With a clear conscience

But then it was pointed out to me

I'd made a spelling error

God damn it!

I'd already made all the copies

And people were already signing them

Fuck, fuck, fuck


Licking his neck

His mole

Touching his

Always perfectly-shaped black hair

No, girl's hair and body and girl's tummy

His precum is so runny


A reporter took my photo

At the PTA meeting

Holding the pages of student signatures

And my misspelled word

But when the papers came out

They ended up printing

An angry photo of the superintendent instead


I cut the article out anyway

And put it in my scrapbook

Carefully highlighting

My printed name

In red


I wish I was dead

Precum

Lots of precum

I wish I was dead

Precum

Dead

Precum

Dead

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