Until Now Lyrics

You were selling Beanie Babies on eBay

I was thinking about my future

You were on a student visa

That we discovered could be upgraded

To a work study visa

If you got a real job

Maybe you'd find a path

To a real work visa

To a green card

And eventually

To American citizenship

Finally you went on an interview

And asked if they would sponsor you

For a work visa

Down the line

They said they would

And then a year and a half later

You walked out

In the middle of your shift

Because the big boss was in town

And you had met with her

You asked about your work visa application

And she said it turned out that they

Wouldn't be able to sponsor you

By the way

Everything spun

In every direction

Not only that

You had debts to pay

(Some to me)

And now you weren't working

You weren't bringing home a cheque

And you told me that you weren't going to go back

To your job

That was out of the question

You were even going to have them

Send your final cheque

In the mail

We checked with an immigration lawyer

And talked about you

Extending your student visa

With a master's degree

But you were as resolutely

Done with school

As you were done with your job

So I cried all night

Imagining what it must be like

To be you right now

And I called my friend

And she went out to breakfast with me

When the sun came up

After I got some sleep

I asked you over and told you

I'd do anything

But stay with you

Here

If you were illegal

But I assured you I'd understand

If you wanted to stay

It's all you've known

Since you were eleven

I just wasn't going to put myself

Through that hell again

It took a couple days

But then you made up your mind

In the way you always did

Done

No matter what anyone would say

No matter what anyone said

And they said a lot

To you

To me

Everyone thought

There must be another way

The Mayor of San Francisco

Had gone rogue

And was handing out marriage certificates

To same-sex couples

And same-sex marriage was legal—actually legal

In Massachusetts

Everyone said

Yes—but that doesn't help in our situation

Immigration rights don't have anything to do

With municipalities or states

Anyway

And even though it wasn't going to make a difference

We made an appointment

On the internet

To get married in San Francisco

And I was surprised

About how excited I started to feel

About it

Everyone was going to come

But then the California Supreme Court

Said otherwise

We set our sights on Canada

Because they would let us

Apply and immigrate together

If we got notarized statements about the veracity

Of our relationship from our friends

And combined our finances

And then I found out

Just how much money

You owed

To credit cards

Because your dad, who had been rich

When he sent you here

Wasn't anymore

And you had to pay your own international student tuition

And even though your dad

Had bought houses for all four of his siblings

In California

You weren't going to ask

You weren't going to beg

For anything from your aunts or uncles

They hadn't given anything back

To your father

When he asked

They just gossiped about his gambling

The needless risks he took

That didn't work out for him

Even if his risks worked out

Pretty nicely for them

You didn't want to talk about it

You didn't want to think about it

It was just too complicated

Pointless

A waste of energy

We thought about you declaring bankruptcy

But didn't know what that might do

To our application to Canada

And we didn't have time to look into all the details

So I just loaded up my low-interest credit cards

With the quickly-doubling

Balances from yours

And I consoled myself

That this wasn't something you'd hid

It wasn't a lie of omission

It just hadn't been

Any of my business

Up until now