Ecosystem Lyrics

Teaching and writing

And sponsoring

Newly-sober alcoholics

Composing a new song now and then

And going out for lunch

At my favourite

Mexican restaurant

After a noon AA meeting

Talking on the phone

With my boyfriend

And making plans

To go bowling with him

And his best friends

He only has a few friends

But he sees them all the time

Unlike me

I know lots of people

And spend time

With them

Just

Here and there

A few times a year

Getting a fish tank

First time I had a pet

Since my cat died

When I was alone with her

On my 14th birthday

And since I took my other cat

To the vet

When I was 20

To put him to sleep

When I was moving out

From my parents' house

With a boyfriend

My parents didn't want the cat

And I couldn't take him with me

I couldn't afford a place

That would allow pets

And besides my boyfriend was allergic

And when I walked into the vet's office

Everyone cooed at what a beautiful cat

Oliver was

Until they heard me say why I was there

Then I ran out and I didn't

I couldn't

Look back

And I dropped acid that night

And dared myself to think about Oliver

Tiptoed across the edge

Of a bad trip

But didn't fall

Proved to myself that it was bearable

What I'd done to Oliver

Or, even if not bearable

That I could bear it

On acid

With the taciturn stars

Looking down on me

From the cold, distant

Pulsing, boundless, endless

Unfathomable sky

Getting a fish tank was a big deal

A big responsibility

I didn't want it to end

Like that again

My dad helped me make a wooden box

To put dirt and worms and my food scraps in

So the worms could eat and multiply

And provide an endless supply

Of fresh food for my growing, thriving freshwater fish

And things were going so well

My ecosystem of food scraps

And worms

And fish

And my boyfriend

My family

The students

Who gave me

Great evaluations

And even put up nice comments about me

On rate my professors dot com

And the parties we threw at my condo

On holidays

For everyone

Who didn't have anywhere else

To go

Eating food

Opening presents

Taking pictures

Full of smiles

And memories

And looking forward

To more

Of the same