I Hired An Empathy Coach On Airtasker Lyrics

Don't look at me at least I tried

I hired an empathy coach for four ninety-nine

I needed the help I didn't have the time

To relate to my father, is that a crime?

Is it so bad if I make my mother cry?

I'm just 'doing the work', that's what my coach admires

'Cause I'm the smartest guy in the room

I just need a helping hand with my business plan

I'm the most-liked guy in the office

you're just star-struck every time you turn down my lunch offers

But don't look at me at least I tried

To stop the years of mediocrity passing me by

When your hairline recedes you buy rogaine and pray

So why is it bad if I hire someone to say

That I'm the smartest guy in the room

But my foot's in my mouth when I talk about the Jews

I'm the most liked guy in the office

But you'd have a hard time too if you spent all day on Zoom

I wrote these words on Christmas Day

Trying to give all my gifts away

But is it really for the best to spoil the poor?

What will they use these AirPods for?

Don't look at me man at least I tried

I hired an empathy coach for four ninety-nine

I got a coupon code to work on my pride

You can't blame me now if I fuck up your life

Don't look at me man at least I tried

I hired an empathy coach for four ninety-nine

I spent three hundred dollars on a suit and tie

If clothes make the man then I'm twelve stories high

Don't look at me man at least I tried

I hired an empathy coach for four ninety-nine

I got a coupon code to work on my pride

You can't blame me now if I fuck up your life

Don't look at me man at least I tried

I hired an empathy coach for four ninety-nine

I spent three hundred dollars on a suit and tie

If clothes make the man then I'm twelve stories high

Don't look at me man at least I tried

I hired an empathy coach for four ninety-nine

It took a lot for me to listen to another guy

Be proud I pulled my wallet out and swallowed my pride