I BOUGHT A MASCHINE IN 2012 Lyrics

You know when you get halfway through telling a joke

And you realise it's not really that funny?

That's kind of how I feel about this song

But anyway

I bought a Maschine back in 2012

On the box it said plug it in and I'd make beats that would do well

People would consider me the next 2Pac or Eminem

So I turned on my Wifi and prayed to my lord and saviour Adele

But first I had to download two hundred gigabytes of beats

Clear out photographs of loved ones now deceased

I'm sure they'd understand what I do for this music making grind

I heard if art is good enough it always finds a way to shine

So I asked my friend in marketing what I could do to promote my song

He said I had to give him two thousand dollars to turn Google Ads on

Didn't have the cash on me but I'd rather be right than wrong

So I sold all my favourite records just to bring you this song

Gather dust inside a closet

The beat maker's one stop office

Every sound you heard before in

Function dictated by form

Write the drums in perfect rhythm

Imperfections machine-driven

Call yourself a real producer

Genuine Instrument User

If I play this track in a forest will anyone hear it?

Of course but lumberjacks only listen to Ed Sheeran

I wish I was Ed Sheeran right now

But it's like I was saying

So I bought that Maschine back in 2012

Sucked into a void of consumerist sample pack hell

Buy every chopped sound file from Metro Boomin and Estelle

Twelve terabytes of snare hits and orchestral swells

Just to write one hit song about existence and hope it sells

Then retreat to an island where in solitude I count seashells

And be a memory in culture washed away by the tide

But I can't run from my mediocrity let alone hide

Live in colour write in darkness

Shuffles written unknown artist

Smash together disparate notions

Boldness masking actual thought

Write the drums in perfect rhythm

Imperfections machine-driven

Call yourself a real producer

Genuine Instrument user

My dad said when I was young I could have any occupation

But for both our sakes he probably should have lowered his expectations

Because his son's making fake rap beats in an middle class apartment

On mixtapes with no cohesion with no merit as an artist

Who tries hide his lack of talent with a less impressive lexicon

Pretends to read James Joyce in economy class to Comic Con

Where he will sneer at all the geeks while insisting he is different

Because he understands the true meaning of Rick and Morty's inference