13 Reasons Why I Became A Maoist Lyrics

From far and wide, the farmers try

To grow their crops under pale blue sky

And when rains fail and crops die

Coast tells them learn Java runtime

'Vote them out' I learned in school

The other colour they say words true

I still pay taxes either way

And my cattle are dead at the end of the day

We need a leader, someone with charm

A man or woman with unwavering calm

To form a vanguard of those on the dole

Who'll abolish self checkout at Woolies and Coles

And finally put a stop to Halloween

We gotta start a new culture that's pure and clean

So get Kevin Bloody Wilson back on the stage

It's the Cultural revolution done the Australian way

The great brown land, stained by time

A melting pot of cultural slime

Import low culture from the world

Celebrate mediocity and call it a pearl

When faced with hubris laugh it off

Meet critiques with snark and scoffs

About the world stage just never listen

Mask the fear with alcoholism

If you do well in school we'll cut you down

Know a second language? We'll make you frown

Have a new idea? Don't rock the boat

Better to be a stone than try to float

And when it falls apart well 'she'll be right'

Ain't my problem I'm just livin' my life

I got the house two kids and a Commodore

Maybe get a second job if you're too damn poor

Roll up roll up, boys and girls of the Australian proletariat

Our Great Cultural Revolution is finally upon us

Soundtracked by Tame Impala and heralded by Clive Palmer

Embody the simulacra of unrefined capital

As you kids who never worked a day in your life finally get the opportunity

To walk seventeen miles in the snow every morning to get to school

And learn about our fearless leader Kevin Rudd

Who at least had the decency to learn Mandarin

Mao himself said a revolution ain't a dinner party

Which is good for me, because I wouldn't be caught dead in Toorak

I'm much more of a VB and Parma kind of guy

And under my new republic we could all drink and drive with no impunity

And it's the romance of it all that brought me here

All those times I said I'd string up Canberra on Facebook finally coming true

Yes, I look forward to my long march through the Simpson Desert, where the cops won't find me

I was prepared for 22 years of hard revolutionary Yakka and,

Then I saw that's it's tax time, and Flight Centre's got a return deal to Bali

Maybe we'll put off the People's Republic Of Australia for one more year...