Dad Jokes Lyrics

Telling jokes like a Dad is a must

Sold my vacuum cos it was just gathering dust

Russell's a great name for a man in a bush

And at the moment I'm reading an anti-gravity book

And it's impossible to put down

It's no small feat but I still set up a shoe shop for't clowns

Don't do anything in Velcro though, it's a total rip

Plus I don't like footie I just watch it for the kicks

But I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed

Ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know

Nothing humerus about the funny bone

Bees have sticky hair cos they use a honeycomb

Got a good joke about construction, but I'm still working on it

Schwepped my missus off her feet when she first had tonic

Think you're a real rock star but have you heard of comets?

Forgot this comfortable keyboard it's errrrgonomic

Proper let down when my office chair broke

They're grizzly, but I've got bear jokes

In denial that I sold pyramid schemes to pharaohs

And I was outstanding in my field as a scarecrow

When Hitler got summat in his eye he could nazi

I stand corrected, I shouldn'ta sat in that seat

Nothing to chauffeur the fact I used to drive a taxi

Da brie everywhere after the explosion at the cheese factory

And that nacho cheese

Get your hands off that mate, it's nacho cheese

And, how dairy ignore my lactose needs

C Major improvement removing black note keys

To cut a long story short, I went into editing

After finding male choirs... menacing

If a Belgian is phlegmish then give him Benalyn

I've never trusted atoms, they make up everything!

I don't watch soaps and I don't tell lyes

A guy who wrote knock knock jokes won the No Bell prize

This photon checks into a hotel, right

Did it have any luggage? Nah, it was travelling light

When the mimes went on strike it was a mutiny

People celebrate a monarch's reign, would jubilee

I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me

Indigenous Americans get Apache beard during puberty

Got tinselitis when I ate a Christmas ornament

A weatherman got into the mafia cos of all the fronts

My school shooting jokes are aimed at a younger audience

I'm watching a live stream of a fly fishing tournament

I've haddock up to here with the fish puns

Two thieves stole a calendar, both got six months

If a fox has a cough, give her Vicks, son

Do you have to planet when you make a solar system?

Was beside myself when I found my clone

Got a cold call: they sneezed and put down the phone

This joke went over my head it was about a drone

Flat earthers have got believers all around the globe

In Spring I'm so excited that I wet my plants

That massive circus fire was in tents in fact

Soda pressing when I used to make Pepsi Max

So I quit to make burritos, yo check these wraps

Let me tortilla, yes these days

Village people always ask, "Why MC, ey?"

Well I tell them, I'll do hip-hop till my hip op

But I won't get with the times. TikTok

My nuclear computer's from a fission chip shop

Do F one drivers spray under their arms in a pitstop?

Nerds love music and we diss jocks

Scared the birds off the feeder was laughing my tits off

A Yorkshireman shirked work, did he get paid owt?

The first person to shred cheese, what a grate shout

Collapsed on a luggage carousel but slowly came round

And exit signs are on the way out