99 Solutions Lyrics

Been married since 2012

So if you're having girl problems then I'm happy to help

You need to stop being a selfish dickhead

Start considering that other people have feelings instead

Not least the girl you're spending your time with

If you're not a kind person you deserve to find shit

Your missus is not the ball and chain

If you find her nagging annoying then you're the pain

Do something that needs doing without being told

And you might find your happiness increases twofold

And heavens above, this is said, never enough

If you're a jealous person you're not ready for love

It's ok to need time just for you

But if you make plans and break them and substitute

Some other activity that doesn't involve her

You'll find those warm hugs you get, getting colder

Went from breaks up to great love all by myself

So if you're having girl problems then I'm happy to help. What?

I friggin' manage it well

If you're having girl problems then I'm happy to help

Monogamy's for professionals you amateurs melt

So if you're having girl problems then I'm happy to help

Haven't been in the dating game since 2008

I can't say any choice I made before that was great

Single life is difficult, deffo no picnic

But what the fuck are you trying to achieve with a dick pic?!

Rappers are deffo the worst

Chatting promiscuity on an un-necessary verse

It's generally dirge

I've met enough rappers, most converse awkwardly

Gonna make moves when you can't talk normally?

She might be fooled by that bad boy crap for a bit

But anyone that hangs around too long is prolly a dick

You're trying to find a diamond and you're shovelling dirt

But with a spoon for a shovel and not putting in work

Most can see what you're worth - what do you offer?

A dole dosser who writes poems - you know you're a tosser

You can be worth summat and have nowt, that is achievable

But if you're having girl problems have you tried being agreeable?

I friggin' manage it well

If you're having girl problems then I'm happy to help

Monogamy's for professionals, you'll damage yourself

So if you're having girl problems then I'm happy to help

"Ooo monagamy's an outdated concept

We should be free to explore as long as there's consent"

Well that's all fine, depending on the context

But once you've had your summer of love, then what's next?

Who do you trust? Who's got your back? How is your life?

Everybody's got a team and now you're on the outside?

There has to be physical attraction I get that

But you gotta see her with no make up, with flu and in sweat pants

And think you're the luckiest guy on planet earth

If you haven't felt that feeling yet, man it can occur

Loyalty and trust are superb, and that's your word

There's nothing better than knowing there's nothing you haven't heard

So give honesty a go, and empathy a chance

It's mostly instinct that wants you emptying your pants

(Whose world is this?)

It's meant to be a man's

But it'd be nothing if I'd never been with Ange

I friggin' finished it great

If you're having girl problems there's some tips you can take

Monogamy's for professionals, we're killing it off

If you're having girl problems well that's shit cos I'm not