The Happiness Chimera Lyrics

Happiness is real for a lot of people

But for me it feels a lot like I'm chasing a unicorn

Rainbows are real but I never heard of anyone

Getting that pot of gold at the end of it

That's what I imagine happiness is like

So I walk in to this fine establishment with the thought I'd challenge it

I slowly approached the counter and gave the man my name

He asked for me to make my copay

The possibility of mental stability for my hard earned dollars, man, what an exchange

The healthcare system shouldn't inflict so much pain

Skepticism is flowing heavily through my veins

All of this has me with balled up fists, all I wanted was to feel sane

Anyway, I make my payment, wishing I hadn't made it

Too late they take it, then they take me

To a back room, Wait! Can you please let me use a bathroom

I piss, I wash, I wish the cost wasn't even really bothering me

Sometimes I go down these rabbit holes, a knife in my back stabbed in slow

Man I really wish none of this was even bothering me

But back to the back room I go, sticky pads with wires on my chest

Clippy thing goes on my finger next

Then an IV jabbed into a tunnel where my life fluid flows

I'm scared from the jump

What if I'm so out of it I piss myself or accidentally take dump

What if I actually see my demons and try fight them cuz I ain't no punk

All of this running threw my brain stem has got me pumped

Then she asked my a series of questions

On a scale of one to ten how high is your anxiety

How depressed are you today

Are you thinking suicidal thoughts

Did you make a plan or think about how you'd do it?… so on so forth

Fucking yes to all can we please go forward

She said, this is going to start making you feel different in a few

Would you like the lights dimmed or all the way off it's up to you

All the way off please

Okay put in your earbuds and turn on relaxing music

While you let your mind get lost

So I turned on my 6 hour Bone Thug playlist

Cuz god damn they are the greatest

And I felt like I needed the best with

While I fight my demons that I am faced with good gracious

Now my thought patterns are racing

I imagine blood smeared in the street staining the pavement

Fear like no other and my blood pressure is raising

A Picasso flashes in front of me I must be crazy

Art and death, all I see now is music, hate, love, art and death

Three hours into this playlist I'm terrified and I can barely catch my breath

Was Bone a bad choice for this? How could it be, when it's clear they are the best

My thoughts are flickering in and out then I see my Nana and god damn it I'm a mess

Tears roll down my cheek, the nurse asks if I'm okay and I nod cuz I too scared to speak

I'm not trying to be funny but all I can see right now is both my feet

So think my legs are gone I'm the shortest man ever and all I want to do here is leave

Then I think I see a door so I think here's my chance for me to flee the scene

A shadow that looks like a door on the wall and I can't seem to get up out my seat

Panic and fear have me paralyzed but I will not accept defeat

But I'm a torso with boots on how can I run if I don't have a pair of knees

Scared shitless with a kung fu grip on the chair I sit there and squeeze

When is the gonna end please let me come down

I thought I would like this but I'm not having fun now

I start to come to it still scared and dumbfound

My legs are back maybe I'll be able to get up now

Still shook and coming back down to this planet

The nurse checks on me, I just told her that I managed

Is your ride here for you? I hope so cuz it's time for me to vanish

I'll be back on Wednesday and hopefully by then

I'll be fully recovered from this damage

God damn it

I don't think I could go through that again

But at least my legs are back and I'm standing

I need to go home

Will someone please take me home, and let me lay down for a bit