The Philosopher's Song Lyrics

There was a guy named Descartes, he said, I think, therefore I am

So I asked him, what if you're just a hologram

He stared into the void, scratched his Cartesian head

Then realized, my thoughts aren't real, and I'm already dead

I must have something, if I don't have nothing

For I didn't hear a thing you said, when you convinced me that you said

It never is the time I treasure, for I'll never feel the pain of ecstasy

Socrates sipped on his hemlock, said, I know that I know nothing

I asked him, how can you be sure, if nothing's really something

He grinned and asked, what do you think, is it all a grand illusion

You're living in my simulation, sorry for the confusion

I must have something, if I don't have nothing

For I didn't hear a thing you said, when you convinced me that you said

It never is the time I treasure, for I'll never feel the pain of ecstasy

I had a chat with ol Zeno, what a paradoxical guy

He said, you'll never catch up, no matter how you try

I replied, stop judging me, you really are a dick

He blew a kiss and said, oh honey, that's just my schtick

I must have something, if I don't have nothing

For I didn't hear a thing you said, when you convinced me that you said

It never is the time I treasure, for I'll never feel the pain of ecstasy

Then Nietzsche came along, shouting God is dead and gone

But I told him, cheer up Freddy, God's still here, just not as strong

He sighed and said, it's all absurd, a dance of will and power

Then I said, sure I'll dance with you, but first go take a shower

I must have something, if I don't have nothing

For I didn't hear a thing you said, when you convinced me that you said

It never is the time I treasure, for I'll never feel the pain of ecstasy