i'm feeling happy now Lyrics

I don't want to write another sad song

Yet every time I write a happy one it just feels wrong

I don't want to sing another sad tune

But when I plant a happy flower, I swear it never blooms

I tried to laugh the other day

But my mouth quickly shut and the sound couldn't escape

I tried to force my face into a smile

But my skin cracked, my muscles ached, because it's been a while

Since I let myself stop and smell the roses

I've been hunched over, head down, holding broken poses

I can't look you in the eyes

Because I took a bit too long but now I've realized

I'm feeling happy now

I haven't felt this in years

Because every good painting got ruined with my tears

I'm feeling happy now

This emotion is so strange

I could only write sadness, but I turned another page

I'm feeling happy now

God, this is so weird

I thought I wouldn't be happy until I'm old with a beard

I'm feeling happy now

I'm feeling happy now

It's like I'm floating high in space

But there's a crack in my suit and I couldn't find a place

That I could fit in

Because I didn't know how to feel joy, depression is all that I've written

I'm in the clouds now

Well, not quite, the thunder is still loud now

I pull my blanket over my head and take a few deep breaths

Cause I'm not ready for the day that's coming next, that's coming next

And at night when it's quiet and my brain doesn't have distractions

Well, my mind turns worse, my heart sinks, it breaks to fragments

Maybe I'm not doing quite as well as I think

The happy feeling is gone before I can blink

And I curl in the corner of my bed

I'll cover my ears but I still hear inside my head

A voice telling me that I'm going to die alone

That I'm wasting all my time and I'm better off on my own

Cut off your friends

They don't really even like you

They spend time with you because they pity and they spite you

Tears flood my face, I guess I'll never be okay

I thought that I was better, I guess maybe I'm not

But I'm doing so much better than I was last month

So I'll just say

I'm feeling happy now

I haven't felt this in years

Because every good painting got ruined with my tears

I'm feeling happy now

This emotion is so strange

I could only write sadness, but now I've turned another page

I'm feeling happy now

This is so damn weird

I thought I wouldn't be happy until I'm old with a beard

But I'm feeling happy now

Oh, I'm feeling happy now