just last week Lyrics

The days are passing like leaves falling from a dead tree

Some fall slowly, some quickly, while others go barely noticed

Some are green, most are brown and rotting

How long do I have left

I still cry over the smallest things

Just last week I accidentally crushed an ant and broke down

Just last week my heart shattered and I wait to be found

Just last week I was 5 years old and didn't worry about anything

Just last week I swear that I was okay

Sometimes I become afraid of who I'm becoming

What if I don't want to live with myself

What if my body can't be a home that I start a warm fire in

What if my stomach always feels too bloated

And my arms hang too low

And my smile is too crooked

And my brain moves too slow

I'm getting older now

And yet my mind has never felt younger

My mind has never felt more scared, more helpless, more alone

I stare at my phone screen waiting for a notification

Maybe if they tell me, I'll finally believe it, but nothing appears

Just last week I didn't care what others thought

Just last week I laughed without a second thought

Just last week I wasn't trapped in my thoughts

I'm getting older now

And my fingers grasp for any sense of relief

Tell me you need me so I can feel purpose again

Tell me I'm important in this god forsaken world and i won't be forgotten

Tell me anything to make me feel good

I don't care if it's true, tell me anything, talk to me

I'm getting older now

And I've lost my friends in the woods

I'm screaming for help but the trees won't answer back

They don't care

And the dirt tries to swallow me and my lungs begin to crack

I'm getting older now

My knees shake, my heart breaks, my brain fogs, my eyes blur

Where did you all go

I can't see you, for my eyes have fallen out

I can't hear you, for my ears ring so loud

I can't touch you, as my hands have gone numb

I'm getting older now

Just last week I thought I might make it

Just last week I dreamt of a healthy future

Just last week I finally slept well

Just last week I didn't question everything that I have done

Just last week I swear I was somebody else

Just last week I hadn't gone numb

But now I'm getting colder