Catharsis Lyrics

Thumb against the glass, pull down through condensation

Numb again at last, my past been my fixation

These questions I have asked become my one narration

But the answers won't outlast the next damn realization

The things that I've surpassed pass on to my formation

No food for thought its just the thought so I live through starvation

I'm not standing still or like they say 'unmotivated'

I am simply capable of movement only through sedation

Still I feel like I've been owed an explanation

For why it feels like I'm bent, knees have these perforations

For why I think through descent in every situation

And why it seems like I'm meant to live through modulation

Pull out my phone to tap the next notation

Desperate attempts to find conviction through a new creation

I feed one way or another what would give me some validation

cause I can't do that myself without the help of mental dislocation

Now I've been here before, repeated process feels like home

Revolving doors of manic back and forth; my 'yes and no's'

Exception made when smarter thoughts attack the way I code

They turn infectious or so I would tell myself I know

It's cyclical, imagine you would be here on patrol

This cynical alleviation needs its fucking toll

That's typical so all you do is give up your control

Analytical infatuation with your fucking soul

As pieces fall off, leave this all off; flip the switch and roll

My reason all cohesive thought of shit would be consoled

Treated like all completed thoughts that have nowhere to go

Defeated versions that we caught but had no room to grow

And so we live here, do our best to make this house a home

While contemplating every part of how we choose to roam

And so we sit here, doing less to make this how it holds

Just suffocating all the rest of us we know that wont

But I'm running out of time

(But I'm running out of time)

Way, way, way out in the darkness I can see Catharsis

Waiting and waving on this hilltop just harmless

Scraping for me and my carcass, baiting me into it's harvest

Just grading me from a distance and persuading me into its harness

It stands and looks for me, its watching over

Just counting seconds, minutes, hours 'till it gets its closure

It's waiting for me with its thin and twisted arms

Out to its sides and fingers motion inward asking me to come in closer

I watch it pace like floating slowly back and forth, so patient

Just making space for me, perfecting how it wants the placement

As I embrace the fear of why it waits for me, I'm vacant

This place is near and dear to me or I'm just too complacent

No way I could stay here in this thing forever

The moments catch up, eating through the parts I've put together

One day, I assume one day I'll make this better

Whatever's left to salvage taken in and fit to measure

Can't take my eyes off him, the version of its self-control

Is hiding in the depths of who I may or may not learn to know

They multiply, these thoughts come in and grab the parts I've grown to hold

And pick apart the threads that make them what they are to then expose

The faulty innards acting like they've always been that way, behold

The beauty in the way it works, a simple way to then reload

A reason to believe in nothing, weakness keeps that thought provoked

And bleeding out; no wonder we keep moving in to more unknown

I'm tired, take it in my persona leveled and sick inside this home

Just wired, get it and make my coma settled and quick beside this, whoa

Required to enact all I know inspired with a bad trap in tow, expired

In a why or why not world, I am with the why that won't know, no way

So, I pull down through all this condensation

Refill my drink and keep me steady for more contemplation

Just let me think, ignore the way I would for my causation

And pray it leaves while I'm still breathing in the same rotation