Anhedonia Lyrics

Same shit every fucking day

Always the ame shit every fucking day man

I wake up

Another fucking suicidal thought on how I should

It's always the same shit

Fucking hell

And it's always the same shit

Cannot get a day where I'm without it

But I know it's gonna happen

So I try to make it painless

It taints the image of living period so I hate it

Exclaiming that I wanna kill myself

But instead I leave the place I'm at

Hateful, disheveled,

And on the brink of a panic attack

Waiting to level it out

So I distract by writing music to move from my past

And from the present 'cause everything is just pressure

And holds me back

In fact

I hate people who have everything I want

A mother, a father, a cousin, a family to flaunt

'Cause all that I've ever had is myself

And that's caused mental health to devolve and regress

'Till I just need to be alone again

'Lone for a while to get my to get my head out the rubble

Up out the casket I fancy myself just living in

So I can smile it's music for awhile

To get my head out reality so I'm not a cemetery resident

Done existing, away from the shit I'm living for

No longer sentient a memory of what was

So I battle the chemical imbalances in my blood

So I get to stay with everyone breathing that I love

But it's been rough

And who am I to blame

Who am I to blame

Is it my biology?

I need etymology so I know just how to name this shit

'Cause everything's been crazy lately

I might not even have a place to stay at

Can't get a job so I'm debating maybe

Should end it all so it'd only be a grave I'm taking

Not wasting space anymore

Free up the floor and then fade

'Cause ain't nobody gon' miss me if I just exit today

I got no family, friends, or foes that would ask me to stay

Somebody'd come and take my place

And I'd be up on my way

And that's when I remember that I promised her I'd stay

Suicidal daze, keep a knife tucked

Wanna take my life

But reminded of who it is that I love

Who had stayed by when I tried

Who had calmed me down and took time to reprise some

Prior memories that this life's good

Vying me to not leave 'cause she wanna be my wife soon

So in a typhoon of emotion

I try to reach a better mind

I been tryin' for a while

But it seems I can't get it

I might as well give up and pay a lil visit to almighty god

That man who left us to live in our rot

Fighting for scraps in the dark

Might just go see a Nirvana concert

Get piano lessons from Bach

Entropy stop, out of my head

No need to take any meds or to plot on depression no more

My days pretty much consist of wake up

Sit in the same place and contemplate life for a few minutes

Contemplate whatever dream I just had

Go downstairs, find my thirty milligram Duloxetine,

Sixty milligram Duloxetine, and ten milligram Buspirione

Take it,

Almost throw up because of the flavor of the Buspirone when it hits my tongue

And then go throughout my day

And I hate taking it but people tolerate me more when I do, so,

I don't have a choice in the matter

Yuh

Anhedonia constant

I can't stop it even if I wish I could

Riding 'round town with a monster living in my noggin

Taking everything that's good when I'm trying to live

Tryna survive my own mind

But despite all my trials I'm still sure to die as a kid

Sinking to depths

Deeper than this depression I been blessed with