Nothing But Regrets (Album Version) Lyrics

I've been sitting here wondering what happened to the time

I had a feeling that forever wasn't real and now it's here and looking at me like a figure in the mirror

Getting bigger coming nearer to my heart and lungs

Everything I didn't do is occupying

And I'm sighing as I'm trying to avoid the trap of buying into anything

I'm crying at supplying all the lying and denying underlying shit when I was young

All the springs that have been sprung

All the spins that have been spun

All the stings when I've been stung

Now you know I know I never should've bit my tongue

And now I'm reeling cos I'm dealing with the feeling of the ceiling crashing in on me

Because I know that usually it's never how it used to be

And universally you could've filled a million parks up with the swings I've swung

I shoulda focused on the future not the past

But every day I knew it could've been my last

I had to keep up with a place that was changing at the pace of Mo Farah in a race and it ran too fast

All the situations I've been through

All the knowledge that I wish I never knew

All the times that I looked at the glass there was someone looking back but I didn't know who

Half of the time my mind was off grid

If I'd have took it any deeper I'd be swimming with the squid

Praying for a savior and feeling like a failure

Well life's too short when you live it like I did

All the years that I only had my pillow

All the weeks I was weeping like a willow

I was crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside and bumbling through like a hairy armadillo

Did I ever try hard enough? Did I ever even have it that rough

Was I doomed from the start did I ever have a chance was the voice in my head too tough

Shaming myself and flaming myself

I've been living in the gutter cos I'm blaming myself

Being in a hurry to be dealing with the worry

When I'm looking at the map I'm going down the wrong road

Wishing that the people that I cared about could help me

But my heart was too proud and my head was in the clouds

If I ever tried to speak up from within I got the trembles on my skin

I might as well have been talking in code

In the moments that it mattered did I ever have the courage to be present

Did I ever want to flourish my resent was always there I thought I didn't really care

But backing out and saying nothing was my default mode

I never thought that I would live in so much sorrow

I never even thought I'd live to see tomorrow

I never bothered with beginning to be living

Never grinning never winning I was slinging mud and sinning

Cos I never knew how but the game is over now

That's a promise not a threat I've got nothing but regret

I was waiting to awaken I was shaken and forgiving was a gift I could have taken that I didn't even borrow

The executioner the judge and the jury

Punching with the power of a manic Tyson Fury

Sentencing me to a life of misery I shoulda thrown in the white towel to end it prematurely

But instead I let it rot like a tree

My inner monologue was suffocating me

If I could pick it wasn't what I'd wanna be

In a life that was plagued by despondency

I was stuck, it was anything but great

Never was it ever too little too late

But I stopped, I wrote my own fate

Destiny's here to take me on a date

And I'm down, all hope is gone

No more need to try to hold on and I'm glad

To say my goodbyes to everything I never had