Life (Laurie Rogerson Remix) Lyrics

Well it was soon gonna be noon in the middle of June

I took my…first breath and clambered out of the womb

I started crying cos I knew that it'd be years til I could rap

So in the meantime all I did was eat,sleep, and

The doctor gave my parents a form

Said you've got to register the birth

I believe this kid could be the greatest rapper on earth

He said his balls are small but look at the size of that dome

My parents called me Paul and then they took me off home

Fast forward to before I could walk

But I was learning to talk and all I said was that's

Before I knew it I was doing my SATS

I had a passion for cats and looking at football stats

That's when I started becoming a bit obsessed with words

I had a dabble with Scrabble and I wrote my first verse

Started borrowing books like they were going out of fashion

I was gobbling them up

Developing my passion

I was reading the dictionary and a load of RL Stine

I started feeding my addiction

Memorising rhymes

Like Betty Botter bought a bit of bitter butter

And she put it in her batter and it made her batter bitter

So she bought a bit of better butter

Better than the bitter butter

And she put it in her batter

And it made her batter better

And Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers

I was practicing, enunciating, taking care of every letter

Competing against my brothers trying to get as quick as I could

Reciting the alphabet backwards and being a stick in the mud

Like one of those people trying to kid you on that cricket is good

They must've thought that I was boring but I was misunderstood

Cos every word that I heard

I saw it clearly as text

It's a phenomenon that had me feeling pretty perplexed

My photographic memory was getting cluttered

By the tickertaping saving everything that was getting uttered

In my life

Oh Life

Ohhh Liiiiife

Oh Life

Diddley-do-do-do

Life

Oh Life

Ohhhh Liiiiife

Oh Life

Diddley-do-do

Sssshh

She is the cat's mother

If you're going out together keep a look out for each other

Don't talk to strangers or get in their car

Don't run too fast

Don't walk too far

Look both ways when you're crossing the road

Listen to Tufty the squirrel he's got the Green Cross Code

Respect your elders

Remember your Ps & Qs

Please keep quiet when we're watching the news

You've got to eat your greens and keep your bedroom clean

Your eyes'll go square if you sit too close to the screen

Ecoute et repete

J'ai mal a la tete

Please turn over to side B of the cassette

Stop biting your nails

Watch where you're walking

Get your fingers out your mouth

Pronounce your Ts when you're talking

And don't answer back

Be quiet in class

No ball games here

Keep off the grass

Boys don't cry

Nice guys finish last

Think about your future

Forget the past

You started in Mummy's tummy

Don't ask how

There was a woman who died

By getting trampled by a cow

Now

When people ask me how I rap this fast

And how I remember all the words I tell 'em it's practice that

The repetition rhyme and rhythm in my head is ridiculous

Tickertaping all the time has made my method meticulous

Synaesthesia makes it easier it's like reading a book

You can say you don't believe me cos I couldn't give a

An explanation either it's just weird but I'm riding the wave

I'm searching inside to find the peace that I crave

I'm looking into every orifice and corner of my mind

Trying to work out who I am and why I find it such a grind

I'm always depleted

But I'm never defeated

Playing over repeatedly

Every second I experienced in my life

Oh Life

Ohhh Liiiiife

Oh Life

Diddley-do-do-do

Life

Oh Life

Ohhhh Liiiiife

Oh Life

Diddley-do-do-do

Diddley-do-do-do

Diddley-do-do-do

Do what you've got to do

Leave the kitchen if it's getting too hot for you

Calm down

Look after your knees

I like it best when there's a bit of a breeze

Nice weather isn't it

Hasn't it been a funny old year

Mr Wilkes can you please sign here and here

Congratulations

What does she weigh

Cheer up mate

Take it day by day

Don't give up the day job

It's on the blink

Pour drain unblocker down your bathroom sink

Make sure you floss

You've damaged your cuticles

Sorry for your loss

When's the funeral

Work til you drop and drink til you're sick

Stop buying avocados and you'll get rich quick

Take your pills so you can block out the pain

We can't do anything this weekend cos apparently it's gonna rain

If it doesn't sound normal it doesn't make sense

Back in my day a Freddo was only ten pence pal

Keep a check on your visceral fat

I think he's gonna grow up to be a bit of a brat

Isn't petrol expensive

What is it per litre

I remember when the elephant pooed on Blue Peter

Yeah we'll definitely have to catch up soon

But I'm away next week then I'm off to Cancun

Just smile and nod

Never mind the corruption

Clean the filter check for blockages if it's lost its suction

The power's all gone

Everything's getting harder

Who's the Grandad staring at me in the mirror at the barber

He's tired and jaded

His looks have faded

He's carrying way too much pressure and hatred

But it's never goodbye

It's a see you around

Cos It won't be too long

Before we're back in the ground

Without life

Oh Life

Ohhh Liiiiife

Oh Life

Diddley-do-do-do

Life

Oh Life

Ohhhh Liiiiife

Oh Life

Diddley-do-do-do

Diddley-do-do-do

Diddley-do-do-do