El Psy Kongroo Lyrics

A sappy type ain't an archetype that I would use

If describing myself, before meeting you

My lack of empathy and interest ain't intentional

But regardless I tend to be closed off, so I'll contextualize

I had a crush, didn't think I'd capitalize

But for months I had been pondering taking my own life

I was losing a battle to depression

So my confession was from rolling a pair of dice that could've lead to paradise

I spilled my heart to you one night

To my surprise I wore a blindfold, threw a dart, and hit a bullseye

Then convinced myself despite reality that we were concrete

I was so naive

I ain't saying that I was in love

Though I fixated on the potential

But was me and her so incidental?

Was I long term or rental?

I wish was that simple

All I know is I keep thinking about you

All I know is I keep thinking about you

All I know is I keep thinking about you

I keep thinking about you

El Psy Kongroo

I could waste my time describing every second

Talking bout any time we met, or every single text message

Could waste my time explaining why it ended

Long story short, college and a pandemic

I convinced myself the reason I was miserable was since I missed you

As if before we met I hadn't already had issues

As if I hadn't been dealing with hopelessness

Failing to cope with it, I'm afraid I roped you in

And in retrospect I guess we didn't last too long

But that didn't mean we didn't still try to hold on

But after back and forth had ran it's course I'm back to where I started

Struggling with bulimia and self harming

And I almost popped a pill to move on

But instead I used the hurt to write this song

Until it turned you from a person to a concept in my head

And suddenly I began obsessing again

The lack of closure began to smolder in me

So much time passing wearing rose colored glasses

Too entranced in dancing thoughts that there's a chance I never thought at all

And merely said poetic nothingness to break my fall for you

But I still couldn't find the gaul to give my all to you

Hadn't seen you in months, but tryna talk to you

Thinking that i had game, had wit

Til I couldn't be slick cause I was heartsick

Every vowel, each word, every verb always stuttered

Stark embarrassment from every other compliment I muttered

Harken back to every time I'd opened up

Cause what are all my secrets if I never seem to see you

And at that point, infatuation made me resent you

Now i'm drinking on a nightly basis tryna forget you

Around that time is when it hit me,

I was infatuated with a concept

I was a miserable person, and I got worse when you left

I knew I couldn't go on like this so

I forced myself to man up and stop being a simp

And forced myself to take you of the pedestal inside my brain

It hurt like hell for months but it was the only way

I spent that time tryna work out my own problems

Slowly realizing I was making progress

It doesn't hurt to merely see you when I've seen you since

But that's because i'd never dare to even reminisce

My whole life I been teetering upon a precipice

And I'm trying my best not to slip

I ain't saying that i was in love

Though I fixated on the potential

But was me and her so incidental?

Was I long term or rental?

I wish it was that simple

All I know is I kept thinking about you

All I know is I kept thinking about you

All I know is I kept thinking about you

But at least I aint still caught up on you

El Psy Kongroo, El Psy Kongroo

So if you check a recent photo you'll notice I'm flying solo

Despite the fact that partners tryna find me like a game of Marco Polo

And I'm sure that there's another person

But with my mental health that shit ain't worth it

It's like when Chet Baker said there never will be another you

I wish you the world despite feelings I had to lose but

I've dwelled so long in idealistic thoughts of what could have been

That fantasy's my standard now, and it's ruining future relationships

I'm over the queen, but not the kingdom we could've built

I'm past the rock and hard place, but can't replenish the silt

Cause I get bitter bout factors I can't control but look back

And I'm on a roll a down a hill into a hell but can't react fast enough

I'd never think to blame you when i'm sad and melancholic

But the honest fact is I'm attracted to the past that can't last

But I still thank you for the time that we shared

I might be bitter now, but i don't doubt that you cared

El Psy Kongroo, El Psy Kongroo

El Psy Kongroo, El Psy Kongroo

El Psy Kongroo, El Psy Kongroo