Lord Lazarus Lyrics

Writing for so long, forgot that I was living

Forgot that I was breathing, I'm merely existing

I think therefore I am, but all I'm good for is thinking

And all that time left in my mind just made me pompous and distant

Self important, sordid and so pretentious

Hate the fact that I took the pain and learned how to express it

I lost the will to kill myself, now I'm stuck with depression

Under all this self improvement lives much self resentment

There's a fine line between achievement and bereavement

And who's to tell the difference if you die before you see it

Sacrifice humanity, thought I already lost it

Rock bottom is death and I approach it way too often

Encroaching on my state of peace, all my regrets

Suddenly all this process was just made up in my head

A way to cope with the future, or present stress

Trauma's no longer an inflection point, just an event

Is it pretentious to be this dysphoric?

My body party's are wrong, should I just ignore it?

Is it concerning that I started scourging?

Well I deserve it so it's not important

It's all a distraction, that's why keep engorging

I'm pricking thorns while I pick the most gorgeous orchid

And once I find it I burn the rest of the forrest

Used to be suicidal now I'm dying from boredom

It's been 3 weeks since last infliction

Conflicting with my wish to be less pessimistic

Quite bluntly is mental illness, I've been afflicted

Life is hollow, I almost miss being Christian

My self awareness is a double edge

I see genuine growth but I'm unimpressed

Now I'm regressing, my values shifting, my brain's splitting

It's been 3 weeks since my last inflicted

Every single moan and coo's a eucophony

A parting of red seas, a blade with a prophecy

A spade digging holes, a painful monotony

My heart is a stone, making gold's my philosophy

This space is an oddity where my pain's an economy

If I drop, cold, quiet, could I savor the quality off a moment of peace

A release from my self

A release from the world

Self sabotaging ecology

Is it pretentious to be this dysphoric?

My body party's are wrong, should I just ignore it?

Is it concerning that I started scourging?

Well I deserve it so it's not important

It's all a distraction, that's why keep engorging

I'm pricking thorns while I pick the most gorgeous orchid

And once I find it I burn the rest of the forrest

Used to be suicidal now I'm dying from boredom

Writhing for so long, forgot that I was living

Forgot that I was breathing, I'm merely persisting

I think therefore I am but if I find a way to cope that stops all my thinking, I'd be happy just subsisting

Several substances and toxic optimism

Better than dreaded edges cause I'm thinking bout my past again

Self hate is hazardous, death rarely glamorous

Kill myself then come back Lord Lazarus

Is it pretentious to be this dysphoric?

Is it pretentious to be this dysphoric?

Is it pretentious to be this dysphoric?

Is it pretentious to be this dysphoric?