Losing Myself Lyrics

Yeah I lost who I was

Alcohol and the drugs

It was killing my brain, it was deep in my blood

And it weakened my love

I hated myself, I hated my guts

I was stuck in the mud

I was stuck in the rain

My life was a flood

I was hiding a grudge

I was hiding the truth, I was hiding the pain

I was hiding the tears

As if I wasn't hurt but this shit was severe

Wishing I'd disappear

Wishing I wasn't here, wishing I would just die

And get buried alive

I was wondering why

Like why was I born

Why wasn't I warned?

Why wasn't I warned? No

Why wasn't I warned of the troubles ahead?

Of all the tears and blood I'd shed

I had no idea the devil was just around the corner

Waiting to capture me when I least expected it

Why wasn't I warned?

Why wasn't I warned?

Why wasn't I warned of the troubles ahead of me?

Why wasn't I told that love would become my worst enemy?

The older I get, the more that I'm left with painful memories

The colder I get, the more I resent and live regretfully

It doesn't make sense to me, no

It doesn't make sense to me

If there is a god why won't he respond? Is he protecting me?

If there is a god then why would he want to put an end to me?

If there is a god then all that I ask is that he rescues me

Will you rescue me uhh

And then I realized

That my god is within

My god is love

My god is energy

My god is all things in this world

My god doesn't live in the sky

But rather lives within my heart

And he's always been there

I was searching for a love through the drugs and the alcohol and I

Lost me through the simple thought if I

Numb the pain it would heal this heart of mine

But it only made the real me harder to find

Insecurities and hatred all combined

Is a misery that kept me lost in time

I don't even wanna' speak upon it now

Cause that imagery still haunts my mind

So I had to look deep within myself

Cause the problem was I nobody else

I was too damn proud to ask for help

Everyday I was walking on eggshells

I was scared to breakdown or make a crack

So I had to fake smiles and fake the laughs

But inside I was bound to break in half

I was hiding behind a tainted mask

Realized that I had to take it off

Otherwise I would never shake this off

Overtime all the hatred had evolved

Borderline my heart almost dissolved

But I came to my senses just in time

Every breath that we take is so divine

And it's up to ourselves to redefine

What our purpose will serve between the lines

So I took all my pain and agony

All the wounds from my past catastrophes

Took the blood from the blade that pierced my heart

And I painted a precious masterpiece

Cause I know that the darkest tragedies

Make way for the brightest days ahead

And I know that whatever saddens me

Only strengthens my weakness in the end

What doesn't kill you is only proof of your purpose

And it's up to you to find out what your purpose is

But I promise you that you have one

And I promise you that you will find it if you search deep enough

Have faith and just believe

Fornever