cold, i wish Lyrics

Dead, i wish i was dead and cold

I went from carefree, to body raining every night

My effort is maxed, i never received it back

I don't deserve this, but it happens to the best

i wish i was

"Help me", thats a sentence i speak silently often

I don't care about no coffin, rather burn instead

I wont go to PIP for the fourth time cause i'll finish the job this time

Most ones who'll be hurt from this

Probably played a part too

I keep my special sharp beside me when i need it everyday

To create more tattoos due to a relapse cycle

Restricts me from wearing shorts and t-shirts

But i do it anyway to make the greatest pain transferred to the public

Im good at changing subjects

Call me selfish all you want, wont be here anyway

For the close ones i helped, you can find a better one to save the day

I wish i was dead and cold

And i was so close

To beating this mind massacre

The temptation has really took over

With one ex and hostage daddy issues

They always say "hang in there" but i cant any longer

They will give their all to me when i'm dead and cold

"Kill myself i'll go to hell"?

But i already live in it

There would be no difference

At least i leave all the triggers thats here on earth

My mental illness just really shows that my life is cursed

Flowers are not given when im alive

So i gotta fix that to get the sympathy i always fantasized about

Thats how far the loneliness goes,

to hugging my clothes, denying my lows

They say "the pain is temporary", but i cant wait that long

Death is calling me like biggie

Destroy the parts i picked up cause i got no one with me in my mind

You reached the end to my end my last words are not fine

Dead, i wish i was dead and cold

i wish i was dead

i wish i was dead and cold