Sonnet: I Lyrics

I can't sleep

I have no dreams, I only have nightmares

There is no relief

There is no release, and it's like no one here even cares

But all of this grief is just mental

Bottled up, It has no potential

Only to rip and tear at my soul

My conscience my heart at this point is all supplemental

Flesh it out I really think not the best idea

Tears will fall like waterfalls in an endless void

I wanna see how many times they will fain caring

Understand I understand their depth is miniscule

Lost inside myself it was all taken suddenly

But it's inevitable death is coming for us surredly

Doesn't make it easy when you lose the one that cares

Not just cares but understands the reasons you stand vertically

Wasn't supposed to be here at all that's a fact

I ripped a whole in space and time they wanted to put me back

50% of the powers that create me they don't know

That i even exist but here I linger and it shows

In the day to day sequence that's played out

They call it life

A gift I should take back and exchange

For some light

Where is the sun, where is the sun

It's hidden, just like the peace that I'm missing

Reminiscing just like the life that I'm missing

There's no light the darkness is filled with ambition

I can't sleep

These days I'm on the verge of tears

I can't sleep

These days I'm haunted by my fears

I can't sleep

These days I'm on the verge of tears

I can't sleep

These days I'm haunted by my fears

Love and validation desperately seeking

In a world that's conditioned that those traits are just weakness

So they run away and flee left and right

But I can't recognize when its there ironic sequence

Everytime I wake up I feel sadness

I dream of all the I used to have

I dream of all the things I wanna have

But I feel I'm not worthy at all I break like glass

Fall to the ground in pieces

I would try to pick them up they will lacerate

Just leave them on the floor where they belong

Like me I'm sorry thats the only way

I lost the only one that knew who I was

Not who I am because with her I fear its died

I want to get it back desperately and be the best

Version of myself But I can't there's no way but I digress

When I find pain I'll search next for the sun

Where is the sun where has it been all along

I long for the warmth illumination that it brings

But instead I'm just lost inside the cold where darkness bonds

Attaches to your soul and freezes everything around

Who would really want to get close to that

I wouldn't want them to anyways at that

Because I protect just not myself from this path

Where is the sun, where is the sun

It's hidden, just like the peace that I'm missing

Reminiscing just like the life that I'm missing

There's no light the darkness is filled with ambition

I can't sleep

These days I'm on the verge of tears

I can't sleep

These days I'm haunted by my fears

I can't sleep

These days I'm on the verge of tears

I can't sleep

These days I'm haunted by my fears

Yes you think you understand

But you will never know what it's like to be a guess

A question mark that no one has the answers for

So they just cast it aside close their eyes hope for the best

The problem is I myself will never find rest

Because I feel like a burden on their shoulders causing stress

I am forgotten gone stiff and rotten

I wish I mattered but I don't I'm left wanting

Freedom from pain and anguish

At it's base loneliness

I long to connect

For someone to see what this is

Past all my flaws

Through the stars through the void

And where is the sun

You will find it in my soul

My soul