William Nilliam Lyrics

William Nilliam Willy Nilly to his friends

Lived epics and songs

Drove a Mercedes Benz

He played horseshoes with the shoes still attached to the horse

He was married to God but she filed for divorce

He invented marinara

Dug the Marianas trench

And he monkeyed with tools by inventing the wrench

Master of most trades

And jack of a few

There wasn't one thing Will Nill couldn't do

But the stories as written were written by crooks

So I'm writing him back in the history books

Willy Nilly was known far and wide in his day

For tamping the soil that became Tampa Bay

He survived the Titanic and did not even blink

While others were panicked he got ice for his drink

The monoliths of Stonehenge

Were rocks from his shoe

And he carved the first paddle

For young Conrad Canoe

The moon was his bowling ball cratered and full

From a gutter throw stuck in earth's gravity pull

The pyramids said to be some pharaoh's dream

Were really just Will Nilliam's first get rich scheme

His children seemed endless he put Zeus to shame

As new species emerged every time that he came

To some he appeared as great glowing clouds

To others a voice that possessed men in crowds

He was small or humongous

To suit time and place

And he had a quite masculine feminine face

I say all of this but I'm sure you'd like to know

"What happened to William?"

"Just where did he go?"

Well one day he grew tired of mortal affairs

So he called his ex-wife

And climbed up her stairs

He told her he wanted a world of his own

With no rules and no structure

No religion no thrones

Just mass form and fun

But not set in its way

A moldable shapable blank clump of clay

His ask was accepted

She gave him his kit

And he left for his new spot to fiddle with it

Since he's been forgotten to most left behind

But I feel it's my duty to teach and remind

These may seem like tall tales

But I swear they're all true

There once was William Nilliam

Now there's just me and you