Never Have I Ever Lyrics

I've been to forty-seven of the fifty states.

Punched a man for claiming that he hates Tom Waits.

I've gone off skinny dipping with an ugly girl

And in seventh grade I lied about reading Steinbeck's The Pearl.

I've stolen and I've gambled with the tainted cash.

Watched every single episode of AfterMASH.

I've texted while driving right in front of a cop

And I long ago mastered the California stop.

I've told friends that their babies don't look quite right,

Yet I've lied to others just to be polite.

I've done a lot of things that I'm not proud of

But never have I ever been in love.

Never have I ever been in love

Never have I ever known that burn

Never have I ever felt my soulmate's touch

Never have I ever, but I'm willing to learn.

I once flashed a nun just to win a bet

Dreamed I was Elvis and shot my TV set.

I've written three poems that don't even rhyme

And I cut my own hair with a Flowbee one time

When I pay at the pump I say it's not a debit card.

I've canned with pressure cookers, though it should be "jarred".

I've broken an arm twice, neither one was mine

And I'm not afraid to color just outside of the lines.

I got detention once for dawdling with Eddie Bethune

Instead of going to career day on that sweet afternoon.

We got three days of after school which fit our crime like OJs glove.

There were bad girls all around, but still I never fell in love.

Never have I ever been in love

Never have I ever known that burn

Never have I ever felt a soulmate's touch

Never have I ever, but I'm willing to learn.

Never have I ever been in love

Never have I ever met my partners eyes.

Never have I ever felt that perfect kiss.

Never have I ever, but I'm longing to try.

I've parked in handicap spots and limped into the store.

When a signs says limit three I always take two more.

I fart in church most every time folks bow their heads to pray

Then I peer about accusingly if someone looks my way.

I've cheated and I've lied about a laundry list of stuff

And I'm always wanting more from life. It never seems enough.

I've done so many awful things there's no way you'd believe

I walked in on my parents once playing Adam and Eve, but…

Never have I ever been in love

Never have I ever known that burn

Never have I ever felt my soulmate's touch

Never have I ever, but I'm willing to learn.

I've been to every corner of this big flat earth

And I've never found the one who truly sees my worth.

Perhaps my misdeeds are too much to bear

But the thought that keeps me going is she's still out there.

I've done a lot things that I'm not proud of

But never have I ever been in love.