The Scrabble Song Lyrics

I told a fib

Mommy said that's bad

She punished me, was yelling

Then she spanked me on my ass

I started fucking crying

Then I went to feed the cat

Saw he wasn't home

So I went out to the back

Right behind our house there's an old train track

The kitty wasn't there so I call my buddy Jack

He said he had my kitty heard it purring in the back

So I stopped giving a shit and then I made myself a snack

I grabbed a jar of pickles off the shelf for myself

Phil walked in, asked if I needed help

I said nope and then Phil went away

Why'd he have to marry my mom anyway?

As soon as Phil left I opened my laptop

Asked an AI to Google me something hot

Showed me pics of lava but that wasn't what I want

You probably think I'm ten but I'm actually not

I'm a thirty six year old divorced man

I've never had sex and my name is Steven

I live with my mom and her husband Phil

I'll never call him dad and I fucking hate Jill

I wanna murder Phil, nudge, nudge, wink, wink

I got a great idea I could put it in his drink

A little bit of poison, I could do it near the sink

Yup, that'll work great now I gotta sit and think

First I gotta pee, better head off to the loo

Gotta drop a log, feel the power of my poo

Water splashed back now I'm wet, gross, ewww

Think it's all the cos that I ate, who are you?

A man just walked in the room what the fuck

He grabbed my by the arm and he lead me to his truck

He said his name was Fez, he was in the FBI

Then he told me Phil was just not a nice guy

I said no shit, Phil's the mother fucking worst

He told me that Phil put his mother in a hearse

I said no shit then I punched him in the tit

I ran off to the wild and got married to a bitch

I got married to a female dog

Turns out I was given the night off

Samantha (my dog wife) told me to fuck off

Now I'm sick and tired and I have a little cough

I'm a fucking goon like my name is Jamie Benn

If I was beamed into another galaxy I could be ten

But here on Earth I'm thirty six and married to a dog

Not a real life space cadet but I am God

I'm gonna phone it in because I am getting itchy

If I wasn't married maybe I would be less bitchy

I know how to balance all my energy that is qi

All the final bars sounds like they're ass but but they're just real cheap

I don't really give a damn shit

Re, rare, ar, technically we used it

Raydar is a song that's by JID

That is all the Scrabble words bitch