Uber Driver Tryna F-ck'n Kill Me Lyrics

Are they a good driver

I don't know

But I'm in the backseat no seatbelt

Hey hey hey mother fucker lets go

Let me check your ratings

Check your stars

Don't ever judge a book by a cover

An Uber driver by their car

Just ran a red light

No big deal

Do I have a Ted Bundy wannabe

Jefferey Dahmer at the wheel

I think my Uber driver's trying to fuck'n

Kill me

My Uber driver's trying to fuck'n

Kill me

Onto the freeway doing eighty five

Gonna have a good case for a refund

If I make it home alive

I said this is not my exit

He said don't be afraid

I know a shortcut

And my Uber apps been fuckin' up all day

He turned around and if looks could kill

Looks like I got a racing John Wayne Gacy

Jack the Ripper at the wheel

I think my Uber driver's trying to fuck'n

Kill me

My Uber driver's trying to fuck'n

Kill me

Opened up the glovebox looked in my eyes

He had a pair of gloves

Oil change receipts

And zip ties

I texted my best friend I think I'm about to die

He said I gotta use the restroom

Could I please come inside

I think my Uber driver's trying to fuck'n

Kill me

I think my Uber driver's trying to fuck'n

Kill me

My Uber driver's trying to fuck'n

Kill me

My Uber my Uber my Uber my Uber my Uber

My Uber my Uber my Uber my Uber my Uber

My Uber my Uber my Uber my Uber

Kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me

And if I'm being totally honest

That was the fastest I've ever made it home

When I asked the guy why he was driving so fast

He said man

I just know how important time is to everybody

Like to get everybody home

As safe and fast as possible

I said well what's with the gloves dude

He said man I got fuckin' eczema man

Every once in a while I get a flare up

I don't like to creep people out ya know

Hell these oil change receipts

Thats just cus I like to keep ole Betsy here

In tip top shape

I said well what's with the zip ties

He said oh that's just incase I need to

Tie somebody up and cut their fuckin' heart out

Hahahaha I'm just kiddin' brother

You never know

When you're gonna need a zip tie

Amiright

Hey man you ain't gotta tip or nothin

But I'd share appreciate five stars from ya

Oh and don't worry about the restroom

I just farted a little bit

And bought myself some time

Thanks for riding