Traveler's Lament

When I get on a plane, the TSA is a pain And I tell you, you can bet your last buck

That no matter who I fly by, by the time we touch down

Something is really gonna suck Maybe the beer ain't cold or the food is old

Or someone's readin' War and Peace on the john

When Murphy wrote his law, he had me in mind And my patience is damn near gone

A big old triple chin walrus of a woman is in the seat to my right

She's so damn big, she's spillin' over into mine So I sit at an angle all flight

And the baby across the aisle has been cryin' for a while

And his momma doesn't seem to care

When I pack my carry-on, I wish I'd had the