Beside Me (Goodbye, I'm Sorry) Lyrics

Dear Mum, it's tricky, Jake

And I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I can't carry on

Please just know that I love you, with all my heart

So, where do I start?

I'm sorry I give up

Well Just listen

The darkness surrounds me, and I'm losing my way

Still feels like I'm drowning, and I don't wanna stay

I'm trapped below waves, I can't breathe I suffocate

I used to look for a way, to get away, to try to escape

But now I'm just lost, and I don't even wanna be found

I feel so cold, standing high above looking deep down

The howling wind blows, I shake as it throws me around

I'm ready to go, close my eyes, lay to rest in the ground

Coz I've been dealing with shit every single day and night

Battling depression and anxiety it's time I gave up the fight

And the voices in my head always knew I wouldn't survive

Just wish you could've accepted me as your son a real guy

I'm never gonna grow up and be the father I hoped to be

A better father my real dad, John should have really been

Too bad I'll never know him, and you'll never ever get to see

The man I truly am, but you and the rest of the family never believed, in me

I'm standing on the bridge of the city

And I'm kicking dirt around, on the concrete

And I'm wishing you were here right beside me

Coz I'm 2000 feet above, from being free

Feeling alright, yeah, it's a lie, I tell to let you think I'm okay

Coz you don't really wanna hear what I really feel every day

I would tell you, but you don't even support me being Jake

When I came out, you showed hate, like I was one to blame

Mum, being trans isn't a choice, and it's sad you never cared

If you did, maybe I wouldn't be breaking, wishing I were dead

But this isn't your fault, its mine, and the thoughts in my head

I hope you can forgive me, before I make the jump to my death

Yeah, my time is almost up, so when I go mum please be strong

I'm sorry I had to do this, I never felt like I belonged no not once

Tell Tiff, Dyl and Bree I love them, n tell them to keep their chin up

And Jim you were a gift to my mum, please help her stay strong

I couldn't cope with all the hurt, pain n discomfort I tried to deal with

And you'd never understand my gender dysphoria I had tried to live in

It's time to say goodbye, don't cry just try to remember me with a grin

I'm sorry to have to leave, man I hope god will accept me into heaven

I'm standing on the bridge of the city

And I'm kicking dirt around, on the concrete

And I'm wishing you were here right beside me

Coz I'm 2000 feet above, from being free

Goodbye I'm Sorry