Real Lyrics

I don't know if its real I don't know what to feel

I been choking up still and I'm over the chills

I still talk to the devil were close to a deal

Find me roasting a bill shit I don't need no pills

I think about quitting they hope that I will

Listen to these words when I go like a will

I'm broken there's kids out there quoting me still

Lost focus but that's how I know that its real

Just said goodbye to my brother

Wish i was there more but we ride for each other

Hate watching the family try to recover

Rest in peace Mac I aint finding another

High off some uppers I'm thinking of you

I guess that's what that drinking'll do

Spaced out as I sit in a room

With some people I'm so fucking different to

Not in the mood to get out of bed

Popping some shrooms to get out my head

They want me to lose, all I got is a noose

If I use it then I won't feel left out again

Pass me a pen imma write till I can't

Don't ask me again imma die for this art

I might need a mask just to hide all these scars

I look up I still see your eyes in the stars

Find me a glass let me pour up

Having visions of my team on a tour bus

Crowds growing we show up in numbers

So try all you want but you just can't ignore us

Been fighting and trying to stand on my feet

I only fit in when I'm handed a beat

Or on stage cause I'm used to them staring at me

I'm an outkast for life I don't care what they think

How could I ever trust someone else when I don't even trust my self

How could I ever love someone else when I don't even love myself

How could I ever trust someone else when I don't even trust my self

I don't trust myself

That's real now I gotta trap for a meal

Tell me relax and I will

When I'm back to the bills with my back to the bills

No cap in my tracks I just rap what i feel

Don't switch for the wave

Been up drifting for the days

Aint made shit but mistakes

Face laid in the dirt I can say how the bitumen tastes

Cause I watch as they're digging my grave

She tells me she wanna know me but I look in her eyes and I feel like I know her already

Feel nothing I'm staying low-key except when I'm with her but she doesn't know if she's ready

So I aint staying sober its petty I know

But when are demons are close, it gets heavy

They all laughed when I said I had places to go

Tried to shine but the coach wouldn't let me

I'm done with the stress, its been up to my neck

Can't escape it, I wake and I'm covered in sweat

Should I jump off the edge cause I'm stuck in my head

And the voices make me think I'd love to be next

And I would tho

Somedays I wish that I could go

They can't read my mind but they should know

The pain's deep inside if you look close

I'm all good tho

I try sleep to distract myself

I can't eat I got packs to sell

Don't speak to a rat cause a rat has a rat to tell

I can't stop but you won't ever see me trapped in cells

Back to hell

That's where I'm living everyday

Consider me deranged, thoughts riddling my brain

They don't listen to my pain its like I didn't even say shit

Ever since 8 I knew I'd never be the same kid