Losing It ft. Rivilin Lyrics

I say I'm happy but I'm not fake a smile it takes a lot

No energy feeling lost, what's the point now your gone

Plagued by nightmares where I'm shot, through the head and i wake up

Didn't think that was a dream, no I'm losing losing weak

Yeah i hear these ghost yeah outside my hallway

My windows covered in ash at the moment

I don't think ill ever escape from this

The walls start to breathe and the eyes just open up

Moving back and fourth like I'm in a body

Of some disfigured by product of hate

I guess ill make my home right here

I'm more comfortable being trapped inside then exposed

To the daylight of the morning

Where I hear pretty whispers just calling my name

And I wake up in a day dream

Thinking that you just went out to get coffee or you went to work

But yeah i know that it wasn't real

That's why i stay awake in the night time

So i know i don't get disappointed by the morning

When i wake and your not there

Cus you know this life gets a bit difficult at times

Yeah I don't think I'm coping i think that I'm lost

Yeah teetering on the edge of suicide

Like yeah do i do it or do i wait to die

Cus it feels like you picked out the gems from my bones

I was so beautiful now I'm empty and all alone

Cus you love to put your two hands in my insides

And you push me on the stage where I'm blinded by the light

Yeah I'm tripping on my own tongue try to find the words

Just to tell my family that im not ok, i hurt

Tell me when was the last time that anyone cared

Probably when you read my eulogy when im fucking dead

Everyone has their opinions on why i takes these fucking drugs

Yeah just to feel numb so i can't give a fuck

I'm sick of overthinking about everything in my life

And you know youre fucked up too

It's crazy they don't get it

Just a-fucking-live cuz I got people that be caring

Standing on the edge and staring

At the faces warped from cries if took this step to end it

Walls be closing so I'm phoning in cuz I feel so lone

On the edge of it, cuz I'm on a binge and I know it shows

Sold my soul for shit boy this ain't a skit, man I feel so cold

Lost it in a f it, I was in a binge, can't take back those

So I live with it, and I loop a bit, and I loop a bit

Like I broken record I'm forgotten bitch

I know I got a problem, made a fucking list

Knowing I'm adding daily cuz I'm throwing fits

My mental state be going down a pit

I got a itch, which I gotta fix

Cuz I'm bleeding out from scratching all of it

These walls are closing in

Losing all my breath

Thinking did I live and life without a end

Gasping for a breath

Fighting for my friends

Fuck I gotta make it, I ain't ready yet

Gotta make amends

Cannot fly again

Off the handle, man I'm fucking losing it

Grounded by a bend

Blacking out again

Sober up until it happens all again

Fucked up I need to lay low

Beta blockers with the Faygo

Anxiety got me fucked up with these fake thoughts screaming lameo

So I close my eyes till it fade away

Open up and it's another day

Another day issa another waste

Man I fucking hate, that I think this way