What Am I Doing Here Lyrics

What am I doing here

I don't know

I look forward through time

What does it all mean

Why do I keep going forward

Why even lean that direction

Into the future

Into a future unknown

Unknown

Perhaps to find places

Where my spirit hasn't grown

In ways it's collapsed

From multiple attacks

Attacks on my stability

My sense of inner dynamics

And sensibilities

I'm trying to find a way through

To the realizations

Of a centered identity

One that finds a meaning and purpose

That can enmesh, a little bit,

But not to be swallowed

By a network of crazy propositions

But still leaving my mind open

To a whole range of options

Loving myself, loving others

Making bonds with all my 5 senses

Don't we have more than that

I think we do

To live in safe pockets of tension

Opposing forces working together

To give me stability in my center

And an odd safety within my existence

I look forward

Trying not to be apprehensive

Try to see

The amazing joys

When I'm low

And not lose sight

Escape the fight

And just have a moment

Of calm

Calm

Calm existence

And then when it's time,

Venture out

Without the kind

of doubts I had before

Because I know

the beauty at my core

Not the absence

Of joy

Joy can be fleeting

But honestly

If you find it

Within your own strengths

It can always be there for you

I really want to be

In love again

With all the powers

That can help me win

In this fight

Just to be happy

To not suffer anymore

Pain is inevitable at times

But suffering

Is just a drawn out kind of crazy

Makes you do things

You never thought you could do

And things

You never thought you would do

Just keep perspective

On life

Those around you

They're not so different

The same struggles

Face them in life

Health doesn't last forever

Eventually everything

Comes to an end

So you might as well enjoy

The love you have

Rebuild the bonds

That make you healthy

Within yourself, too

Accepting you

And all the experiences

That are part of life

It's okay to be mad

It's also okay to be nice

Honor your feelings

Get back in touch

with who you really are

I love you

I love you

I love me, too