Headspace at 25 Lyrics

Too many times life done hit me with a fast pitch

I'm 25 and all the years done went by mad quick

Satans hoping that I'll go out like my dad did

He got my brother and right now he wants the hat trick

I'm always looking for a fix when I'm feeling down

My dads someone that I miss, but he's still around

I guess I never knew the man he was behind the scenes

I used to follow, but right now I think it's time to lead

Im imperfect, I feel worse when I try my best

I got anxiety and suffer from the side effects

It's crazy when I feel my worst is when I write my best

I'm up all night abusing alcohol to hide the stress

Severed family ties, I'm always in between some drama

I'm tryna give my mom some grace because she seen some trauma

I watched my dad fade fade slow, a really suddle one

My brother too, like dj Khalid, "that's another one"

Two out of three and they won't say, it but they think I'm next

Sometimes I stay awake and question whether I'm depressed

Like maybe football messed me up and CTE's just setting

Or maybe I just overthink if I'm gone get to heaven

either way I know that fear it really desperation

ADHD now the doctors gave me medication

It helps me focus, but I'm like a zombie when I take it

Said I'd stop drinking in May, but yet I still debate it

My dad ain't moving how he used to and I really hate it

Cause I can tell he lost his faith, but he would still debate it

My mom and him can't even speak it's hard to sum it up

Cause I don't think they know the damage that that's done to us

Like how you teaching me forgiveness but you can't forgive?

And as a man why don't you own up to the things you did?

Eternal scars that never healed, and now they resurfaced

There's family curses I refuse to let them keep cursing

I'm where it ends, infidelity going to stop with me

I'm always torn with who I am and who I ought to be

Since I was old enough to speak I felt You calling me

You told me 'I won't be very let you lead until you follow me"

Yeah

But satans preying where he knows I'm weakest

Another drunken night has got me feeling so defeated

I'm looking to you for direction cause I know I need it

I know you love me but at times I really don't believe it

I don't got the strength inside to overcome these demons

I got to find it at the place where your son was bleeding

I'm crying out to you, I'm praying, God my soul is screaming

For you to let me out this prison I been holding me in.

Let me out.