Santa's Divorced Lyrics

Santa's got a divorce, fucked too many whores

Now, he's all alone, Mrs. Claus is gone

He's goonin' at the North Pole so he don't think 'bout all the

Times he fucked up bad, but he drank too much Malört

Now he's drivin' drunk into Christmas trees

Gettin' breathalyzed on his knees

Now, they're takin' his mugshot

While the Grinch gives Ms. Claus a cumshot

He just got a hit and run

Ran over your grandma

He was goin' 480

Wrapped his fat ass around a tree

Yea, he committed war crimes

Got those elves workin' overtime

It's really slave labor

He'll talk about it later

He got subpoenaed in New York

Stop and frisk, I'm sure

Now, he's doin' drugs

Somewhere in Mexico

Black tar heroin in his veins

Fentanyl in the candy canes

I don't really know what I'm sayin

But I know that this Christmas

He's goonin' at the North Pole so he don't think 'bout all the

Times he fucked up bad, but he drank too much Malört

Now, he's outsourcin' labor to the third world

Makes the kids work way too much

And he don't pay them too much

Santa Claus is a dickhead

I'll kill him in his bed

Mrs. Claus was right

To leave that man last night

She's a queen, she's a queen

Yea, yea

Santa, it's all catchin' up to you