Requiem Lyrics

As I woved out one morning

In the mewwy mewwy month of May

All for to hear the small birds sing

And the lambs to skip and play

I came unto my twue love

For to harvest loves wipe fwoots

For to sing to her a song of love

And play a tune upon my flute

As we sat down upon the gwound

I gazed into my twue loves eyes

Her heaving bosom wose and fell

Her lips were chewwy wipe

But alas and alack and woe is me

Although my heart gwows fonder

I must wesist those woving hands

That towards ones codpiece wander

Pity the poor castwato

Let your heart show some compunction

Who ever since that fateful day

Is missing certain functions

Sing nonny nonny no with the voice of an angel

But thats no compensation

Sad to say how I wue the day

I had that opewation

The Kings choirmaster be beguiled

To be cut off before my pwime oh

Smooth talked me with scheme

That weally seemed

A good caweer move at the time oh

I curse him with a vengeance

In words that are not polite oh

And one day Ill cweep up behind the bastard

With a knife on a cold dark night oh

As I wander wound about

I hear the bawitones lusty moans oh

And catch cwafty peeks

On the tenors bum cheeks

Up and down like a fiddlers elbow

Alas there is no wemedy

No linament or ointment

And visits to the apothecwry

All end in disappointment

Shall I offer a weward for my missing cwown jewels

To anyone who might locate them

Or twy to awwange a twansplant

Fwom any kind soul who might donate them

Because as we well know

A chap cant wow

A boat without its wowlocks

So alas how can one plight ones twoth

Without those Benny Hill moments

Pity the poor castwato

And so alas my love I must be wesigned

To admire thee fwom afar

To be forever walking thwough the air

Not under a wandwing star

Sad to say how I wegwet that day

Like a lamb unto the slaughter

And the very sight of a long sharp knife

Still makes my eyes to water

And so my dear though it may appear

That I offer thee wejection

When I change the subject of conversation to

My intewesting stamp collection

So spare a thought for those such as I

And lustily sing along for us

And now I hope the gentlemen

Will join me in the chawrus

Pity the poor castwato