No ft. Zoey Lavell Lyrics

When you'd rather suffer through hope

Than suffer through growth

No one hurts you more

Than you

This will not appeal

If you're not for real

About the role that you play when you got to heal

To attract the kind of energy you're trying to feel

To be the architect of what you're trying to build

I learned correction

From people who never bothered with discretion

So pardon me for questioning

You targeting progression

When you're starting at a dead end

It's hard to get ahead when

You go hard in a direction

Where the options are get stuck

Or turn around

Or burn it down

When you can just be smart with who you let in

I'm just sharing the art of introspection

Cause you should never be comfortable only in the dark with your reflection

Enlighten yourself

Understand this is less about you

And much more an indictment of self

I spent so many of years hyping myself

Over actions that actually

Had to be

Sad to see

It was folk who opted for the service and they had to leave

It was folk who continued with school and now they had degrees

I was still bumming it at my momma's house at 24

Couldn't even take care of myself and yet a dad to be

I wanted to lie

But fear forced out the truth

The bed that I made wasn't at all where I wanted to lie

I wanted the perks

Not the relationship

Wanted to be called daddy

Not to babysit

Wanted to keep being reckless and get away with it

Wanted to take the risk

Without having to weigh the risk

Wasn't ready to stop

Wasn't even ready to slow down

Wasn't ready to detour

Let's be sure

That we're making this

Decision for the both of us

But me more

Cause trust me

It feels like we'd be lucky

To last a week more

But I ain't convinced

Was too entitled to own it

I was living life in the moment

And the way that I reluctantly accept it

Foreshadowed how ugly things were set to get

Was nothing we connected with

Was physically attracted just enough to seem affectionate

But not to be healthy

That was enough for me to question it

Yeah

It was out of my hands

She had her heart set

But keeping me from being a dog

That was farfetched

As if I needed an excuse to be

Was usually

Just a hazard of choosing me

That's why so many people were confused to see

The growth when I moved on

They couldn't tell which version was my true form

The answer was both

And that's what I was wrestling with

Was evident

That I had been doing wrong

For too long

So all skepticism was just

I had the plight of this

Devil on my shoulder whispering bad advice

One step to the left

Threw out my commitment to acting right

Sometimes it's a struggle that my wife

And I ain't that alike

She just wants to have a life

She just wants to pack her life

And grab a flight

And travel like

There's no tomorrow

I'm cool where we're at tonight

But half the fight is

Bridging the gap just like a team

Sometimes through compromise

Sometimes you need to sacrifice

Choice can crippling or liberating

So I get it when folks get lost in their situation

I just ain't the one to be participating

In denial

You're going to have get it now

Before you reach the point where ain't no way for you to live it down

Especially when you when you go out of your way to say you're different how

You don't want to stick around

Feeling like you're Waldo

Then discover that you're just another face in crowd

Who you gonna blame then

The same friends

Who tried to warn you about repeating the same trends

The relationships that you know you shouldn't have stayed in

All the people who shouldn't have even made it in

Spoiler Alert

It ain't them