Jesus Crashed My Car ft. Randy Lopez Lyrics

It went with me like with Carrie

On her way to Cincinnati

The car went sliding I was scared

I threw my hands up in the air

I might have had too much to drink

And I said "Jesus take the wheel"

But He was worse than me

He crashed my car at Central Parkway and E Liberty

And He said "I can walk on water

Stickshift's another matter altogether

But if you'd gone the way of Lazarus

I would have brought you back among us"

I said "You Mary Joseph!

You wrecked my car my fancy Corvette"

I reached for my hydro flask

But it was full of wine like we were still in Palestine

I said "Oh Lord ease up on the superpowers

And get us a tow truck"

But it was Triple A

That sent an angel for a couple hundred bucks

And Jesus said "Get up and walk now

Blessed are the users of sustainable transportation

I am the way you know

Forget Siri follow me

And you will reach your destination"

Then he gave me a loaf of bread

And then another and another and another…

These days I must admit you'll find me riding public transit

Won't cast the first stone but I learned my lesson

I let no saint or prophet drive me home

Sometimes when on the bus

I see a stranger a slob like one of us

He's on the phone with Rome

Trying to find his way back home up to heaven all alone