HEAVEN, Pt. 1 Lyrics

You made a list of people that you trusted, would you put your name down?

Do you know who you are?

When you look at life and you talk about yours, do you feel proud?

Are you leaving a mark, or scared to make a bad impression so you just go hide in the dark?

Livin' and playin' a part, knowin' regret'll come back up tomorrow

That's what it does, ain't it? Don't know what we're chasin', but we all do it

Just a part of life, I guess we're all foolish

Running after what we think will make us happy 'til it falls through

And then we find out later it ain't what we wanted

So we give up on it, then we pile the garbage

And we watch it grow and find a drug to numb it

'Til we hit the point that we can barely function

Am I motivated? Is my music dated?

Would I be the same if I was medicated?

Even therapists say I need medication

I avoid it, though, because I'm scared to take it

Am I the only one that has a loaded gun

That's full of doubts and memories to overcome?

And I complain about 'em when they shoot at me

But I know truthfully I like to load 'em up and let 'em

Cause to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though

Cause you ain't even get to witness your grandbabies grow

But I'm sorry mama for cleaning out my closet at the time

I was angry, rightfully, maybe so, never meant that far to take it though

Cause now I know it's not your fault, and I'm not making jokes

That song I no longer play, at shows, and I cringe every time it's on the radio

And I think of Nathan being placed in a home, and all the medicine you fed us

And how I just wanted you to taste your own

But now the medication's taking over, and your mental states deteriorating slow

And I'm way too old to cry, this shit is painful though

But ma, I forgive you, so does Nathan, yo

All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both