ABOVE WATER Lyrics

I can't keep my head above the water much longer

Swimming in the high tides searching on a cold night

The dark is only getting darker it's harder

I can't keep my head above the water much longer

Yeah if you made a list of people that you trusted would you put your name down?

Do you know who you are?

When you look at life and you talk about yours do you feel proud?

Are you leaving a mark or scared to make a bad impression so you just go hide in the dark?

Livin' and playin' a part knowin' regret'll come back up tomorrow

That's what it does ain't it? Don't know what we're chasin' but we all do it

Just a part of life I guess we're all foolish

Running after what we think will make us happy 'til it falls through

And then we find out later it ain't what we wanted

So we give up on it then we pile the garbage

And we watch it grow and find a drug to numb it

'Til we hit the point that we can barely function

Am I motivated? Is my music dated?

Would I be the same if I was medicated?

Even therapists say I need medication

I avoid it though because I'm scared to take it

Am I the only one that has a loaded gun

That's full of doubts and memories to overcome?

And I complain about 'em when they shoot at me

But I know truthfully I like to load 'em up and let 'em

Travel in my brain woo might find damage and no grace

Things that I hold on to but I won't say things that I won't let go

So I chain my soul to the heartbreak

Havin' a nice day that's not a average in my case

Don't like cameras in my face; glamour it's all fake

Love my job but it might seem odd that I'm here 'cause I hate fame

Yeah

I can't keep my head above the water much longer

Swimming in the high tide searching on a cold night

The dark is only getting darker it's harder

I can't keep my head above the water much longer

'Cause to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though

'Cause you ain't even get to witness your grandbabies grow

But I'm sorry Mama for "Cleanin' Out My Closet"

At the time I was angry rightfully? Maybe so

Never meant that far to take it though

'Cause now I know it's not your fault and I'm not makin' jokes

That song I no longer play at shows

And I cringe every time it's on the radio

And I think of Nathan being placed in a home

And all the medicine you fed us and

How I just wanted you to taste your own

But now the medication's takin' over

And your mental state's deterioratin' slow

And I'm way too old to cry this shit is painful though

But Ma I forgive you so does Nathan yo

All you did all you said you did your best to raise us both

Foster care that cross you bear few may be as heavy as yours

But I love you Debbie Mathers

Oh what a tangled web we have 'cause

One thing I never asked was

Where the fuck my deadbeat dad was

Fuck it I guess he had trouble keepin' up with every address

I can't keep my head above the water much longer

Swimming in the high tide

Searching on a cold night

The dark is only getting darker it's harder

I can't keep my head above the water much longer