Missing Pages (Intro) Lyrics

You think I'm playin wit my dreams

What if I told you , I felt the same way

Everything ain't what it seems

These stories im tellin you , i really broke

I was the only one my mother would hold

Keep talkin bout the screams

And I'm seeing faces in my dreams

Voices I'll never hear again , on my soul

And they disappear again

Everything fades like it's time to go

I'm reliving what I wrote

Just to give the heartless hope

Had a roof over my head , never had a home

Even in a group I feel alone

They want me to open up , it happens in music

Only time I'm naked , my days spent fully clothed

Remember momma , remember when it was cold

We got heat from the stove

Hot water came after we boiled it

Still we was spoiled a bit

Cause some die in the cold

Apartment 7 , that's where my heart froze

Wish I could tell em' the truth

The way I'm growin tho , can't tamper the roots

I'm always lost , in the booth is where I can regroup

I can hear myself talk

They come to me for therapy

Cause of all the shit I saw

They wonder how I'm non chalant

How I just shrug it off

I'm crying as I'm writing this

Pain doesn't take a summer off

I wish talkin about it would cover the cost

You know real pain

Watching my moms live thru the worse

She's still alive but did she survive

Ima reader of eyes , sometimes numb to hear cries

Cause then I think back

To when she got attacked

Absorbing her tears my gray shirt turned black

Focused on the tv , game in my hand

She hugged me tight for her life

I aint know how to react

In shock , wish I could understand

Why my father was a wanted man

White House Pickett fence

We wasn't part of the plan

i missed him till I grew cold

Cried writing jail letters , all our talks on the phone

I keep tellin myself I moved on

Now I'm just numb to the cold

Like even if I'm being cheated on

Least I ain't alone , Got someone to hold

I'm just tryna give ya the missing pages

I burned bridges , but covered my payments

Just cause I'm sharing my graces

Doesn't mean I don't see both faces

Slapped my blood on a blank canvas, Call it art

Make it look easy , I smile thru the dark

They can't tell if I found the light

Or I'm looking for a spark

I aint lookin for the petty sympathy

Surviving brings me joy

Cause I could tell you bout misery

Why i keep myself a mystery

Im only giving you crumbs

It's what happened to them

Not what happened to me

Tell you what i saw first

Before how it made me bleed worse

Sweat and tears , to dilute the verse

When the curtains fall

Are you ready , facing the truth can hurt

Yea I'm reading this , if I looked in ya eyes

You couldn't handle it ,

would you feel it , im discrete a bit

Been depleted and shit , tried to quit

Thoughts I can't resist , treated when I paint and sip