Goin' to Turkey Lyrics

I'm ready now

I'm going to Turkey now

All strap in

It's gonna be a bumpy ride

Well, I'm going to Turkey or the Caspian Sea

Somewhere there's no Starbucks or MTV

I don't need no bandwidth or apple pie

Though I might change my mind about the apple pie

I'm going to Turkey on a midnight train

I took several abadabas and I feel no pain

I'm packing all my bags and I took my keys

And now I'm gonna do what I damn well please

I'm going to Turkey and I cannot wait

Gotta leave now cause I can't be late

I had to take the train cause I lost my car

You know I lost in a poker game with Roseanne Barr

Well I'm going to Turkey it's an uphill climb

And you know it's not about you this time

I just got tired of the whole damn scene

So I'm gonna go where there's no more beans

Going to Turkey or the Caspian Sea

At this point it don't really matter to me

You know I might take a boat or an Aereoplane

I might even strap my ass to a hurricane

I'm going to Turkey with a boarding pass

Tell the conductor he can kiss my ass

I'm going to Turkey but I don't know why

I can always get my rugs at the Econo-buy

Here I am walking down the Champs-Elyse's

Oh, watch that San Francisco

Oh it's a mess

Watch your step if you know what I mean

Can't talk about it here

What? Stop laughing

But Davy God wouldn't like that