Move On Lyrics

my mum says that when wounds are hurting periodically, you’re on the path to healing

but what do I do

when my mouth is filled with hot coal that burns to ash the inner pathways to healing

how do I smile when it falls into my belly burning all the places that the butterflies of his love used to make a home?

I want to be fine, without these constant painful pulls from the insides of my wounds,

I want to survive a full day without this overwhelming urge to stalk him daily, to call him, to break my bleeding body into a sacrifice and offer it as an appeal to him to come back to me

everyone says he’s not worth it: move on.

news flash: the heart isn’t a switch, you can’t just turn it on and off as you, please

moving on is like repeated floods

creating erosion in the soil

the first wave—the lack of clarity on whether you have a future together

the second—the anger over nothing

the third— the complaints that cause you to peel off your skin until you reveal someone else

the fourth—the ghosting of your calls and messages

the fifth—how you walk away knowing you loved them enough to move mountains for them but realized that the only mountain they wanted to move was you

the sixth—how you stalk your replacement and try to wear her identity like jewels

the seventh— how everyone says move on and you answer “sure I will shrug off as his name gets called on random lips and pretend that these letters haven’t made their way into my bloodstream, dragging at my cells that are begging for him to come back”

I don't know why we are asked to just move on

I don’t know why we are expected to be fine immediately

we didn’t just fall in love in minutes

we didn’t just build a home on a whim

we didn’t just wish for forever in a week

we fell deeply and slowly

so please, do not tell me how to heal

please, do not tell me to just stand up and move forward

when my heart is stuck at his door waiting for him to open up

if I move I’ll be dead

if I don’t I’m dead

please, there’s no way out, the only place is here

so allow me to absorb his darkness, until light is left

allow me to bleed until pearls fall out

allow me to shrink and mould my burden into a work of art

because I know this pain would not destroy me

this hurt would serve as the fuel that propels me to fly higher

these tears would serve as a lubricant, for swift entry into my destiny

I am hurt but not weak

I am broken but not defeated

and this phase like everything else would pass

because wounds hurt for a while before rebuilding the skin into something stronger