Promises I Can't Keep Lyrics

I promised I would kill myself before I turned 18, I didn't know a life outside the house that I lived

And when the time came it seemed, that it was just another dream, to live a life in a world where I thought I was free

But I fucked up, I got scared, and I told an adult, I was put into the psych ward without another way out

I was 16, ambitious, with my sights to the sky, I knew that I needed help to leave before I died

In this household, where my mother didn't want any help, and my dad would have these tantrums that we put on the shelf

And when it hit me, I remember that I only saw red - I never fought back, afraid that I would only be dead

I thought the only option that I had was murder suicide, and by the day I turned 18 I would kill them - and I

Kill me in a way I won't survive

I'm still alive

Now I'm 26, alive, but supposed to be dead, where did I go wrong, these promises I kept in my head

Am I happy? I'm alive, but only time will tell, if I'm the victor of the story or the villain as well

Still alive, there are promises that I can't keep, and if my younger self haunts me, then why can I still sleep

There's a way out, I know that may lead to regret, but if I get out alive - I will see it to the end

Kill me in a way I won't survive

I'm still alive

I'm still alive

Kill me in a way I won't survive

I'm still alive