Is This Love? (Variant Remix) Lyrics

Home's a word for neurotypical

Them who didn't develop atypical

Love for us means we're just tolerated

Conclusion drawn from us being so agitated

I'm autistic, and yes, I used to cut

My wrists once poured my blood

Don't mean I'm takin' arsenic to the gut

When tantrums arose, it was just my shortcut

Ain't like they ever tried to see life, through my eyes

Never supported any of my choices, but they're good spies

Spotting my royal muck-ups even in my clever disguise

Love, support, neither word means much when I know they're lies

They say I need help, laugh at my poor grasp on social nuance

Yet I could text and text and never get one response

Say they don't know what to say, and yet, with nonchalance

They can berate me for issues well beyond my own fault

Too stupid to grasp self-destruction ain't randomly spawned

And it's their hate I feel, resting deep inside of these bones

Autism has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on intelligence

Ain't my fault, you can't consolidate my words' eloquence

Suppose a part of them died when they saw my bold elegance

Speaking out against their unending abuse, their vile negligence

Funny how the Truth broke the chains of my learnt helplessness

Perpetuated when they tried to ridicule me with incompetence

My whole life, I've been downtrodden by the dumbest know-it-alls

Come to find out they're a bunch of backwards, brain-washed thralls

Oh, the whole lot of them quick to kick me in the depths of my steep falls

Trusting the words of snakes has led to some of my life's biggest pitfalls

I know they're probably thinking, "Stop complaining boy, you ain't in prison!"

These solid walls ain't made of cement, just the wicked who have risen

Determined to make damn sure they spit at me their words of derision

Blind, moronic fools, claiming they have a single shred of true vision!

I'm autistic, and yes, I used to cut

My wrists once poured my blood

Don't mean I'm takin' arsenic to the gut!

When tantrums arose, it was just my shortcut!

Ain't like they ever tried to see life, through my eyes

Never supported any of my choices, but they were always good spies

Spotting my royal muck-ups, even in my clever disguise!

Love, Support, neither word means much when I know they're just lies

Some nights, I lay awake, weeping, craving their respect

Blinded by the eclipse of emotion, inspired by retrospect

I spent ten whole years learning how best to introspect

Traumatized me bad as Arthur Fleck, refused to act correct

Pages of evidence, official diagnoses, invariably autistic

They can say I have Munchausen's, keep their simplistic

Ignorant views, they can continue in their highly sadistic!

Treatment of a victim, when I'm simply being casuistic!

The most diligent grandson, son, nephew, loyal by design

Disability from the federal government, yet, still, you're resigned

To tell me my chronic illnesses are "make believe", a complete "lie"

How many hours, days, months, did I spend, with you, confined

Explain to me why for the first time, away from you, I feel alive

Why when I take everything you ever said to me, set it aside

I see a whole a new world, how despite your Dark, I shine bright

I've gained perspective, and I now know, you were never right

I'm autistic, and yes, I used to cut