Shootin' My Best Shot! Lyrics

I heard your ex was an alcoholic, hurt your feelings and didn't do right by you

Now though I'm puzzled by how that could possibly be true, I must say I'm glad you left him

And it's a pleasure to meet you

I can imagine that's how that coming at you, and it don't help none of this true

So before too much time goes by, I'ma shoot my best shot and see if it goes through

Extend my arm, flick my wrist and release with perfect form

Then the predator goes in

I promise, the last place I want to see you is back on Hinge

Stop playing girl, you know we got shows to binge

Plenty of new seasons, episodes and reality we can live

Oh and reality TV to make us cringe

I'm ready to love, and after these last 90 days I'm all but ready to make you my fianc

And I don't even need a visa

But I do feel like life without you is almost worse than lockup

Tell me, can we find love after a breakup

Reconcile and make up, reunite cause it feels so good in real life

And not just cause it's something that's all made up

You ready to come break my hair yet

Ready to come watch Raised by Wolves Season two

I saved it just for you

Don't worry, if you watched it already it's cool

I won't be upset

But I bet you miss me being able to reach stuff up high so you don't have to get a stool

Or jump up on the counter all the time

Not to mention all the great adventures we had and mountains we've climbed

Remember the bikes, roller skates, electric scooters we ride

Remember our jump rope competitions and how you'd always win, even though we were on the

Same side

Remember running through the park as a warm up and staying right behind me so I could

Catch all the wind

But what about off-road shopping and singing in the studio

How about when we would load them clips up, the range, put on goggles and let them things

Go

Well, I know you miss taking naps in my sleeping bag and walking around with a baggy onesie

On over your savage Fenty like you wasn't bad

Mercy, it ain't just your beauty, it's your complexity and humility that I've always admired

You tired like I'm tired

Tired of cuddling your pillow at night

See I got two, but no matter how many tears they soak up, they can't hit me with the thunder

Like you

You ready to come home

Home to where your heart is at

Let me hold you till we fall asleep or till it gets too hot and you gotta roll back

Wait, it's been a minute, three months to be specific

Where exactly is your heart at

And how does one who proved he didn't know how to act go about getting his lady back

Should I pour out my soul, plead my case and allow the promises to stack

Cause I can go on for hours about how sorry I was

I can go on for days counting the ways in which I want you and miss you

I can tell you with great certainty that if given another chance, I'd

Hold on, let me spell you the cliches, cause if I've learned anything during our time apart

It's that it's not all about what I want or even what I can say

To start, I'd like to know what you've been thinking

What you've learned and more importantly, is your hibiscus okay

Did you miss me

Did you pull out your phone at night, look at pictures of us while playing sad love songs

And sigh

Well, I did

Did you ponder all the ways I neglected your feelings and mistreated you by not being kind

Cause I did

Did you look back over the two years we spent together and smile, then laugh when you remember

All the fun we had playing hide and go seek like a child

You already know I did

Did you weigh the pros and cons of being with me again

A poet and ex-con

Did you consider life with a professor or the benefits of moving on

Did you work out the math problem of our destiny, subtract my foolishness and possibly see a

Future with me

Or did that seem more arduous in fact, more like doing a bid than glee

Did you ever check my story on IG for pictures of another woman and me

I kid

But you see, I had to stop watching your stories cause them gym videos of you doing squats

Made my heart drop, beat skip

I almost had to delete IG

I admit, it's been a trip

You miss me cooking for you

Or would your macro say otherwise

Satisfied with frozen meal prep, delivery and thirsty DMs from other guys

I know I ain't the only cat with a crush

I wonder what your therapist is telling you

Seems like just yesterday it was the three of us

I'm glad you have someone clinically qualified to confide in that you can trust

Anyhow, I hope you're getting all the answers you need and that your anxiety ain't been

Acting up

Stealing your peace and have you fixating at full speed looking for something you can't

Find and getting stuck

I wonder, do your friends and family tell you to move on and forgive me

Well, considering my previous behavior, I'd say that's a fair decree

How are the rest of your plans and how's your treat

How go the body goals and how's your hair growth routine

I pray for you and them daily

Plus your new crib cause I care

Baby, these last three months have been both terrible and wonderful all at the same time

It's crazy

As I said, I missed you something serious

I went through all the stages of grief

I think at some point I was delirious

It was like a few of them were on repeat and didn't want me to sleep

So mysterious

The good part was being alone turned out to be just what I needed to strengthen my beliefs

Get back with God and to the bottom of what was eating at me

It really got me about that fall and now I couldn't be more happy, but I know it's been

A while since we talked, so please indulge me while I catch you up with the current status

Of my walk

See, I did just what I said I was going to do in my last apology

I went to individual therapy plus AA, back to church, had early morning worship and listened

To the word three times a day

Worked out at home, applied for that new full-time position and stepped up my training with crew

And you know what

Praise the Lord I even got an interview

Can you believe it

But for the meantime, I went back to FedEx for a few paid hours of fitness, at least

For a season

Them boxes are relentless

Started reading more and fasting from television and social media

Then started building toward my vision as well as expanding my profile in academia

Working on my parenting, capacity for kindness and patience is my new mission

I've also been journaling, writing poems, logging daily activities and meditating

And I got to say, I feel great

I'm free, not fixed

However, I am over my obsession with alcohol and it's not an all missed

And I'm not going back

Nope, nada, not even a sip

I'm on a whole nother track, a whole nother tip

It's about progress, not perfection

And my sponsor just gave me my three month chip

What I'm really working on now are my character defects and negative thoughts

I began the process of saying no to pride, being more humble and possessing an open mind

Because having to close one cost

Basically, I'm the same great guy minus the service fees

Similar but different like Matt instead of gloss

Now look here, I'm not trying to floss, but this new version of me has less glitches

Comes with a few updates and double the kisses

I mean, just wait till you see these upgrades

They're ridiculous

I'd also like you to know for what it's worth that I've evolved

Evolved on a few issues we had

Or better yet, that I had

Like, I don't think we have to live in different houses anymore like I did before

Don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna buy some property, but I'm no longer dead set on having

My own separate place

Obviously, whatever I get, you get

And God's given me grace

I actually think it'd be nice if we came together properly

What I'm saying is that even though it ain't 2006, I want you in my space

In other words, let me put it like this

I want to make space for you and your ideas so that you feel heard and safe in the house

At night and sharing them ideas

Plus, I no longer have any preference about the amount or timing of us having kids

I'm perfectly comfortable with you calling it and telling me what it is

Now, I know what you're hoping, but I can't do it

I'm still not okay with you chewing with your mouth open

I'm just not that evolved yet

That's the only thing I still forbid

But in all seriousness, even though that was true, I want to make sure not to limit you

I want you to be your whole self

No more unsolicited help or being overly critical

I ain't with that nitpicking no more or being overbearing with a stubbornness that for me

Is typical

Yo, I don't even cuss no more

Do you, boo

That's the new motto

And it's biblical

At the end of the day, I thank God for even ever having met you

You've taught me so much about myself, about board games, about benefits and all the financial

Literacy

You showed me the value of being kind and all the affection when you'd sit next to me

You're generous, supportive, and yes, oh, so very fine

Clearly

I'm even grateful that you ended the relationship when you did, because it came right on time

I needed that wake up call and you deserve better

You did

I still wanted you to be mine like young blue, but I deserve what I got

I did

So I tried my best to fall back and not to sweat you

Now I know I might be saying a lot, but I'd hazard to say that I am better

Again, not fixed, perfect, all that, just better

So baby, don't you go filling up my slot

We ain't no quitters

And even though this ain't an award show, ain't no seat fillers for the fill up my spot

I'm playing, but just know that I'm still deeply, if not even more in love with you

And I ain't planning to stop

I know it ain't up to me

Instead, it depends entirely on you

So I'm gonna ask these last five questions and I'm through

How do you feel

And what is it that you want

Moreover, what would you like me to understand and or confront

Is there anything I can do to make amends

Is there anything you'd like me to say or do in regards to you, your family or your

Friends

Okay, that's it

That's all I got

And where this poem ends, I left it all on the table, typed it all up above

And either way, I'm grateful

I just wanted to hit you with my best shot and offer you my love, artfully and from a

Few different angles

Forget the rest

I'm like, leave me in coach

I don't need a sub

Now, I know the poem was long, but I'm a poet and using potent

So what else was I gonna do

My Bible says that if any man be in Christ, he's a new preacher

Old things are passed away

Behold, all things have become new

And I claim that for myself as a promise or guiding rule

Even got a new license from DMV to reflect just how new I felt

Plus my Afro was looking pretty cool

See, I'm just trying to reshuffle the cards I was dealt, bring back some middle school

Charm and pull some clarity off the shelf

Now, since I'm not sure where your head's been at lately, would you mind doing me a

Favor by circling yes, if you're down to start fresh and go on a date with me

Yes or Yes?