Constant Fear Lyrics

I've been writing everyday

Trying to figure out how

How I'm going to get out

And help myself now

But this frown is glued

To my face instead

And I can't get outside

Of my own head

And I'm realizing now

How it's all a cycle

All this pain and depression

Is gonna take awhile

And the stages of grief

Are entirely cyclical

And it's so deep rooted

It's entirely subliminal

And physical

I can't bring myself to sleep

Because even when I sleep

I see it in my dreams

I keep thinking about how

We were on the same team

And you're taking this separation

Far easier than me

And I need that love

I need that closeness

And without it now

I feel so completely broken

And I've spoken up to you

Even when I was choking

On my own tears and it's starting

To cause an erosion

Of my soul, in the cold

Where's the gold that I hoped for

It's not here anymore

And I'm unfolding

And I truly never wanted

To be controlling

And now I feel like my mind

Is decomposing

I have this constant fear

That I'll never get back

To where I was with you

That was where it was at

And in the back of my mind

I know that it's not right

But I couldn't give you up

Without the harshest of fights

And it's typical to say

That now I feel so empty

How I always felt at home because

You were right there with me

And it's simply now all too much

For me to handle

There's too much of my life now that

I have to dismantle

And it rattles in my head

Like some psychobabble

I guess I underestimated

Just how fragile

My mind is, feeling like

Shattering glass

I wish I could have known

That it would move this fast

But I never once felt like this

Couldn't last

A ghost from my past that I could

Never leave

A friendly one though

From what I could see

Holding on to a love

I'd always try to retrieve

And you best believe that

You could put that on my grave

You got my whole soul

You could put it on display

And it's okay if you never

See it that way

What you do from here now

Is not for me to say

Waking up alone is something

That will always hurt

It's behavior I don't think that

Will ever be learned

And I've earned this because of my

Complacency

So I'll continue to move

Room to room aimlessly

Staring at the wall until I

Lose my mind

Rapidly increasing

Through the passage of time

And I'm finding it hard to figure out

Which way to go

And I'm realizing these are things

I'll never know

So while it would be easy for me to

Curl up and die

Because I can't stand the idea of

Saying goodbye

And that's why I can't seem to bring

Myself up

Because no matter how much I give

It was never enough

You can't look me in the eyes

And tell me I did nothing wrong

Or tell me there's a place

Where I will always belong

While it's right here in front of me

And walking away

While my heart is trying to find ways

To make you stay

And there's a part of mine

That will always have a place for you

And I hope you saved a space

In yours for me too

Because I firmly believe this will

Never happen again

And I know eventually

I will lose my best friend

I never wanted to think about this

Would all end

I don't think I've ever felt

Overwhelmed to this extent

Your character is something that I

Will always defend

And I'll do everything in my power

To try to repent

I never wanted to think about this

Would all end

I don't think I've ever felt

Overwhelmed to this extent

Your character is something that I

Will always defend

And I'll do everything in my power

To try to repent