I've Interacted with Bruce Lacey's Head Lyrics

I'VE INTERACTED WITH BRUCE LACEY'S HEAD

You can talk about the weather

You can talk about your health

You can talk about your brain scan

And brag about your wealth

You can bore me with your haemorrhoids

And pictures of your kids

You can go on about your holiday

And all the things you did

Don't assume I'll be amazed

When it's all been done and said

'Cos I've interacted with Bruce Lacey's Head

I've seen his Jelly Woman

And his landing on the moon

I've heard him singing Sleepy Valley

And other madcap tunes

I've watched him dancing 'round and chanting

In the middle of the night

Wearing not a stitch of clothing

And his willy painted white

You may think that what you've done

Will knock the public dead

But I've interacted with Bruce Lacey's head

So understand my situation

If I'm not all that impressed

By your tales of heavy drinking

And your stylish mode of dress

I'm afraid I will be yawning

As your story is unfurled

'Cos I've seen Rosabosom

Win Alternative Miss World

You might have had more sex than Motley Crue

More drugs than Mick and Keith

The things you've done to your chinchilla

May be strange beyond belief

But if your tale underwhelms me

Try not to get cross

I've seen the weirdest of the weird

Done by the all-time weirdness boss

When you've seen his womaniser

There's no more to be said

'Cos I've interacted, yes I've interacted

Yes I've interacted with Bruce Lacey's head