Sisyphus ft. Barnes Lyrics

I've been holdin' on, to understand something that's been going on

The type of feeling that you get when nothing ain't wrong

Can't understand why I'm feelin' like this, but I'm holdin' on

I don't want to die without knowing what this emptiness inside really means

Constantly tossin' and turning in my bed, having bad dreams

Or, nightmares, whatever you wanna call it

I've been feelin' so dark in the present, but in the past I saw it

I knew this would happen

Everlasting foes with everlasting hoes, but that ain't change a damn thing

Still in the dark twenty-two years later, I've been tryna rearrange things

One day everything's great, then the next I'm feelin' like shit

Wondering if it'll change things

It's a constant pattern

Lost myself like I'm in space, on a place like Saturn

I can't get this mood out of my body, so it feels like I don't matter

Made some mistakes in the past that made me think about what was this and what was that

So, I'm constantly thinking

About what could've been different, cause' I'm constantly sinking

Just to start going up again, and wonder what's the meaning to life

If I feel this way every other day, like I can't stick around long enough to see shit change

Damn

I've been tryna maintain my mental health more than my wealth in the last year

Thought things would be different and things would be better from the past year

But, honestly I still feel stuck doin' different things, but I still feel the same

Like, what the fuck

Nobody gets me, nobody stuck around long enough to say they with me

And if they do, they ain't the crew

They just clout chasers cause' they know I'm winning in this music shit

I make the type of music to make you feel like you losing shit

It's not debatable if it's relatable or not, cause' I'm choosin' this

I know the people that follow they dreams is doin' this

Stayin' up late past midnight doin' stupid shit

At least that's what the obsolete think

But, to me I think differently with this cuban link on my neck

Cheated death twice, now I face eternity

I push a boulder up a mountain

Each time I reach the top, the boulder falls swiftly

Quick to restart, fear of abandonment

Don't know a world where I stop, so I keep pushing

Just to do it over and over, a cycle that lasts forever

Everybody got a mountain of their own, no one can really help me

Nobody ever hears me, my altitude too high

I wonder when it ends, maybe when new life begins

If I stop, the boulder kills me

It's hard to escape the inevitable

On this climb, I've hurt people I love, pushed people away that only want the best for me

It's hard to communicate when trauma leaves you empty

I'm an evil and selfish person, but I know the right answers

Connected to people, I mask who I am around others

Immortalized so I forever suffer

As I push, my thoughts cloud me

It's like we made some plans and I showed up but you ain't comin'

Tell one lie, that's another lie you gotta back up

All I want is the truth

I'm scared to live a lie, I chase reality

When this world tries to blind me, my mind is clear at the peak

But, the boulder falls, a never ending pattern

The Myth of Sisyphus