An Abundance of Caution Lyrics

Every time you leave your house

Or when you go to sleep at night

Everything is going to kill you

You'd better be safe alright

Wear a mask, or maybe not

Trust the science, that shit is hot

You know they know what's best for you

Do what democracy tells you to

Because it is out of an abundance of caution

That you are displaying your BLM sign

Because hate has no home here

You are assuaging your own fear

Because it is out of an abundance of caution

That you have no children but want one someday

Treat your dog like a child

Let your pit bull run wild, tearing faces right off

Even when you're on your couch

You still need more security

Bad dudes on the Internet

Talking about conspiracies

Climate change is going to kill you

We only have about 12 more years

Make sure you have plenty of wine

So you can drown all of your fears

Because it is out of an abundance of caution

That you are still wearing a mask in the store

My mask will protect you

From the Chinese Bat Flu

Because it is out of an abundance of caution

That you are driving an electric car

We're all in this together

We're fixing the weather and taxing the poor

Talk to your doctor

You gotta double your Select Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors

Get the best birth control

Before you fuck all those random guys

Talk to your doctor

You have fibromyalgia

Nonstop chronic pain

And explosive diarrhea

Talk to your doctor

About your various nasty cysts

And all of those viruses

That you know really exist

Talk to your doctor

About your anxiety

And your constant depression

And your obesity, you fat bitch

Because it is out of an abundance of caution

That you are displaying your BLM sign

Because hate has no home here

You are assuaging your own fear

Because it is out of an abundance of caution

That you have no children but want one someday

Treat your dog like a child

Let your pit bull run wild