Haywire (Single Version) Lyrics

Back when I was young

My umbilical cord started puking all over the place

And it got in the doctor's face

Cause it went Haywire

Haywire

Then in '58

My penis flew out to outer space

And it got into an astronaut's face

(Houston, we have a penis)

Cause it went Haywire

Haywire

What's wrong with my body?

Can't it get a grip?

All I'm saying is

My body is like a stick

Cause it went Haywire

Haywire

It's 1966

And I'm still like a stick

But my weight's the size of a brick

And I have no dick

Cause it went Haywire

Haywire

Then I went to Burger King

Cause I am the Whopper king

But as I reached for my burger

My arm became wobbly

And the bones didn't exist

And I STILL have no dick

Cause it went Haywire

Haywire

Now I'm with the principal

Cause I "slapped" my teacher

But my arms got all weird

And they went Haywire

Haywire

Now it's '72

Now I still need to do

My "homework"

My parents just got home

And they don't like this song

And then they tripped and fell

And the dog came over to smell

And he fainted

My parents were drunk

Before that, my dad was a hunk

Until they went Haywire

My teddy bear is gay

And it humps everyone all day

My friend's don't like me

Now don't you see?

My body is freaking out

And I'm about to shout

So I need to get out

Or else my penis will turn inside out

And I'll go

Go

Go

Go

Haywire

Haywire

Haywire

Haywire

I have a carrot and two oranges as body parts