If I Don't Come Home Lyrics

Tell me was it worth it, put your worth inside these lyrics

Not the chapter that you finished, but the years that you've diminished

Just to take you back to Neverland, the kingdom of a better man

The perfectly Imperfect outcome, fly away, I'm Peter Pan

I've seen the way your mind can work, it's scary, you're obsessive

Narcissistic, with three minds inside one body, it's excessive

We can take the middle mental, get a spade and dig him deeper

That just leaves me with the two of us, just me would make it that much cleaner

So make yourself the slaughter pig, so history can't repeat itself

We've been through this before and every sonic volumes on the shelf

That goes for Superheroes, all the people I can't wait to meet

This shouldn't make me nervous, pause, i can't feel your heartbeat?

I woke up from the car crash and my heads been feeling funny

Concussion and the windows smashed, my mouth is filled with blood, the

Paramedics just arrived, the police have cornered off the scene

Head is heavy, I can't focus on anything around me

My heart beat goes

I never wanted you to know how bad I was struggling

Many things I go through, I just suffered in recovery

I'll never get to show you all the things that I was juggling

Like making music, writing scripts, through thirteen hour cooking shifts

Rebuilding burned relationships, that fell from alcoholic fits

I'll never see my dad again, so many things that I left unsaid

So I say it with a pen instead of dealing with my stress

I know we never saw things eye to eye but eye for eye

I left the whole world blind with so much anger at the time

I was just a kid who didn't understand what was going on

Didn't get why you were leaving but I'm sorry, I was wrong

They rushed me to the ambulance, on a stretcher in a comatose

IV drip and a stomach pump, tryna counter act the overdose

My body's stuck, my minds awake, this feels like sleep paralysis

Remember what I told you if I die inside this ambulance

Mum I wish we had the chance, to have one last, heart to heart and open, sober Conversation about how you are

It's scary being honest, I just cover up my scars

Isa knows it best, I get so stuck inside the past,

Speaking of which, my kindest regards

Those plates are still broken, Kintsugis an art

There's gold inside the cracks but it's been tearing me apart

I said I'd come and see you but instead I wrecked the car

That put me in the hospital with machines that help me breathe

I'm terrified, I scream, but my lungs have let me down

Like I did to everyone, I'd get down on my knees

And beg for one more chance but I'm not coming back around

My demons nothing to me but he's there when I'm unconscious

George Harrison and Dreamer Boy, DBTs beyond us

I black out if I'm honest, my amnesia couldn't save me

I'm mad with my insomnia, not sleeping drives me crazy

But in a twisted turn, this time my eyes are getting heavy

Promise you won't leave me, I can't do this, I'm not ready

What about the legacy? This music thing is everything,l

I told you if I don't come home, my voice is yours, remember me

You say I'm nothing to you, I was there when you were nothing

You're not a tortured artist, not an artist worth discussing

Your innocence is ignorance to the person we're becoming

Been waiting for this moment since the day you started running

Suppress me during therapy, blame me in your lyrics

Paint me as the enemy, use my name for business

Creativity has limits, that's the issue with us

Tell people that I changed but really you're the one that's different

Let's pretend you never even picked up the pen

Made amends with people, instead you messed up again

I lost so many people and you pushed them all away

They're never coming back and you're the only one to blame

Suffice to say, all those people left and they were right to leave

Sacrificed your right to grieve, with a track but they aren't coming back

Thank god you're not coming back

You made me in your imagine so thank god that you're not coming back

Your cup should be half full but you can't stand us being sober

Sit down in the car seat but how dare you say it's over

Addiction was your choice but my dependency was not

Born inside a body with a mind I couldn't stop

I spent every waking moment proving that we're better, than the things that you would Put us through, in crisis moods, by picking up the pen, and taking you, to places darker Father please forgive when I give in, he knows no what to do, but that's a lie

Everything you did was just a lie to get attention

You built a whole career on the template of resentment

How do we change, if you don't change, cause nothing ever changes

Write a page, take it to the stage and make us famous

A twisted mind is dangerous in connection with a pen

Traumatised and demonised, but here we go again

Survivors keep scars, victims bleed, tables turn, sing for me

You named me DBT and now it's time for you to leave